On fire

Today was one of those days that just went right.

We had a nice chat this morning, relaxed and happy. He had had a good day at work, and although my night had been disturbed by nightmares and a humongous thunderstorm, I was full of energy.

The energy level continued all day...I was on fire.

I have achieved so much today, everything went well, everything was good and now on my "downtime" I am relaxing.

He came online earlier and talked to me, and told me that I looked hot (as in sweaty, not as in "Oh my god you look so hot I could ravish you here and now" sort of hot) and I could do with cooling down. I was threatened with a cold shower, which I absolutely hate. I took sometime just to  gently and politely remind him that I really didn't like them and how they make me feel physically.

 He told me he was only joking, but to remember, that if he says I am to have a cold shower, then I will have one, and to remember whose choice it is.

Anyway, off he went to work and has left me to it, left me relaxing, and I am to talk to him later.

I think he is planning something...not sure what...............just having a Mary Poppins moment :

 Wind's in the east, mist comin' in.

 Like something is brewin' about to begin

 Can't put me finger on what lies in store

 But I feel what's to happen, all happened before.


Oh where do we keep this information in our heads, and how
 do we retrieve it at what seems like 
the most oportune moment.........like I said....Today I am on fire.
 

Humiliation , a cane and a cold shower.

Yesterday he sent me to go and buy a replacement rope for the ones I inadvertently left behind, so off I went, but it was at the end of a fifteen hour day, and I sort of was huffing and puffing about it, and then to be faced with the choice of 2, neither of which were like my own....I was not very happy...but I chose the smaller of the two as I didn't think I would be able to move in the other one.

When I spoke to him last night, he allowed me to tie my normal rope and then put it on, it was such a relief, and felt so lovely to have it there, and he didn't once mention why I had a new one.

He then announced that he would be using me for his pleasure, and he had a definite chuckle in his voice.
He told me it was not a punishment, just a gentle reminder, so one peg on my tongue, one on each each ear. one on each cunt lip and one on my stomach. I was then sent to face the wall and make sure the tongue peg was touching the wall.
I waited and waited there. I hate the drool, I really do, I hate the noise it makes when it falls on the floor, I hate the taste it leaves, the dryness in my mouth, the smell of drool is not nice, and I hate the whole humiliation feeling that floods over me when I am drooling.

I was then told to make myself cum without moving anything else other than my hand. But you know what its like when you do cum..... well my head moves and that fucking peg was banging against the wall and my tongue, and the drool was everywhere.
He made me remain there for another 10 minutes or so, until there was a big pool of drool which I and then  had to lick up. I  returned to him on my knees and I had to use my tongue to flick the peg around. the drool was going in all directions, and whilst moving the peg, and drool flicking all over my face and tits, over the floor and well, everywhere, I had to cum again.

Humiliation is one of those feeling that just sends me to that place where I just can't function, I felt full of it, it covered me like the drool; horrid, nasty, dirt, feeling lack of self, dehumanised.

By the time he had finished with me, my head was a mess, I couldn't think straight, could hardly speak,and found it so difficult to get myself ready for bed. It took me three attempts to tie my nighttime rope, I got tangled in the bed covers and almost cried because I couldn't sort them out, I couldn't set my alarm, I was a mess.
He stayed online talking to me, making sure I was ok, telling me what to do, talking to me like you would to a small lost child, which i guess is somewhat how I felt.
And in the night, each time I woke, and it was a lot, he was there, sending me back to sleep, telling me I was ok, that he was there. I felt so cared for.

This morning his silly mood continued, and he wanted to enjoy himself some more

I had  a peg on one ear, and then had to get the cane that he sent me here with. and balance it between my nose and upper lip, and recite the alphabet backwards, then count backwards from 100 without it falling off! easy peasy.

Then  I had to balance it on the bridge of my nose and repeat the recital.
I thought I was doing fine, until he said "Now stand up and make yourself cum, and don't let it fall off".

Oh dear oh dear.

 Standing up was easy, playing with my cunt was manageable...but cumming...off it went.
So I had to put a peg on each nipple and do it again...........

I managed to get to the cumming bit again, and it crashed to the floor!

I was not looking forward to cumming again, its no fun by yourself. But,as usual, he always manages to keep one step ahead of me and offered me a choice................. something nice now and horrid later or something horrid now and something nice later.

 Well I am the queen of deferred gratification, so I chose the second option.

 He said " go and get straight into the shower"................and I couldn't help it....the word "bastard" just slipped out.......

Was he cross? No he laughed, told me that he had heard me and agreed. I had to stay there in that freezing shower, and I hate it. But I stayed as told to, until he told me to make it warm, and then I didn't want to get out. I am not sure if that was the nice thing or not...but if so ...not much a good deal in my book.....but then I'm not the author

 My owner has always said that he knew it would be difficult while I was away, that both of us would find it hard, but with hard work, we would be okay, I would be okay.
And you know what? He is right....very right.

I feel his control, I feel submissive, i know I am his slave, he is still at the forefront of my thoughts when he should be, I feel loved and cared for...and oh boy has he worked hard to make me feel all these things...so

Even for the cold shower Sir.................thank you.

A different sort of mind fuck ...lesson three

Last night we managed to talk for a couple of hours without any interruption, we just chatted, like we do when we are together, nothing specific, nothing exciting or even slightly D/s...nothing at all that if you had overheard the conversation would have led you to believe we were anything more than an boring old couple, other than the fact that I was sitting naked with my rope round my neck and I addressed him as Sir, but other than that nothing.

So this morning when I woke up I expected our talk to carry along more or less in the same vein.

Oh silly silly slave.

I woke early and he sent me back to sleep...........I thought he wasn't being considerate. He woke me by text then told me to go back to sleep, he did this three times and on the fourth time I was expecting the same, but instead of "Go back to sleep slave" it was"Get up slave, go and turn the shower on, get it nice and cold".

Now he knows how much I hate the cold, he knows, he really does, and uses it sometimes as a punishment, or gives me a choice of a cold shower and something he knows I hate more and enjoys when I choose the shower. I sometimes try to choose the other option , and he enjoys watching the struggle on my face as I pot for the shower anyway.

 But there I stood in the shower, the cold water running all over me, my nipples tight like little buttons, my muscles beginning to tighten, to shiver, when he told me to turn it off. I was waiting for the usual command of "Dry yourself slave" , but as I stood there, shivering , he made me turn it on again and stand under it again. By the third time I was crying, big sobby tears of cold, frustration and anger. Yes I admit it, I was angry at him for being mean.

After the third long cold shower  I stood before him, water dripping from my hair, down my tits, my nipples sore from the cold, my legs shaking, and I stood and waited....and waited until I was dry, just one small trickle of water dripping from my hair, down my back and between my bum cheeks.

"Slave.................lie on the floor............face down"
So I lay face down, face into the floor, my eyes closed, waiting for my owner's next instruction......
I lay as I have been taught, as instructed, face down, hands behind my back, my legs crossed and then in a very quiet voice I heard the word......

"slave"
Once I am in that position; my place, I am not permitted to talk unless given specific instruction, and so I waited for more from him.......

I strained to hear him.......................'slave ..... move your hand to your cunt and if you are wet you may show me your hand".

Oh and yes I was wet, my fingers were soaking when I touched my cunt.

He told me to return my hand to my cunt and not to move it, not to move a muscle...and very quietly he told me how he is going to welcome me home.
How he is going to hold me and stroke my hair, how he longs to kiss me, to look at my face, into my eyes, he he wants to put me over his lap and spank me till I beg him to stop, how he has already chosen the belt he will use on my arse, how his favourite crop is in his car ready,how he will place his hand over my mouth and pinch my nose and watch me wait until he give me my breath back, how he will slip his hand round my neck and squeeze when he allows me to cum, how he will pull me to him by my nipple bars and torture my nipples while he fills my throat with his cock,  how he will use the crop while I suck him till he shoots down my throat.................

And without warning, I came.......................big shuddering, deep inside me, whole body orgasm.....that left me shaken and crying.

"Oh slave...........and you didn't even move against your hand"
 And I hadn't,, I really hadn't, it was a complete mind fuck...........................

But following the theme of the day............I then had to crawl to get the toy he gave me to go away with and cum again, and then again., till I lay in a sweaty heap on the floor, legs open, cunt pulled wide so he could see, could inspect me

"You see slave...its all about control...it's all in the mind.

I wanted to say "no Sir , its all in my cunt" but I smiled and said "yes Sir"...because as usual he is right.
Lesson in threes.