Then another list arrived: Pegs, ropes weights, vibrator, plug

Oh finally, I have sat down, stopped and have enough time to write. I know there has not been this much of a gap between posts since I started.

There is so much to say and I hope I have enough time to say it.
We have hardly talked in the last few days, in fact if I haven't been working I've been asleep pretty much, apart from one night, when he absolutely insisted that I talked to him.

So late in the night I switched on my computer and saw a list:
Control, pain, silence, obedience, submission, peace.

This was his list of thing he felt had been missing in my life this week.

Then another list arrived:
Pegs, ropes weights, vibrator, plug.

I got everything ready for him and waited by the computer and another email arrived:
Strip, rope, plug, nipple and clit  pegs, kneel, wait

So I stripped and inserted the plug, put my rope around my neck, not tight, but there, so I was aware of it, I attached the pegs to my nipples and clit and knelt down and waited for him.

My email pinged and another one arrived, "Turn the camera on and put your face on the floor with your asre facing me and when you hear me ping turn around and open your cunt for me."

So I did as he said and knelt on the floor, my arse exposed, the plug filling my hole and waited to move position until he had finished looking at me.

Instead of a ping, my phone went and he called and told me to remove the plug and hold my arse open for inspection. Then he told me to replace it, turn around and show him my cunt so he could inspect it, to pull it open by the pegs attached to it. I waited there until he had finished the inspection, waited while he commented on how my cunt was wet.

I stood on instruction so he could see how the pegs were on my nipples, and he told me that I was to attach the weight to the pegs and stand and wait for him. The weights are two small silk bags that had  held  present from him. They get filled with coins,the number and weight of depending on what he wants. I filled the bags and stood.

I could feel the weight pulling down on my nipples, but by standing still I felt I could control how I dealt with the pulling and the pain.

After ten minutes he told me to do and get the thin rope from the cupboard where it is kept. I had to climb up onto the shelf and reach up, and then I had no control over the pain, or how I deat with it, because I couldn't. So it filled me as the weights pulled the pegs, and I knew that this was the moment the control became his again..

I was instructed to fold the rope in half and then tie it to the bags, pulling them together, but still allowing them to hang down and then each end was to be tied to a peg on my cunt, effectively joining my pegged nipples and cunt. My hands were shaking by the time I had finished, my eyes full of tears and my breath catching in my throat.

He then told me I could choose.

I could pull the pegs on my cunt apart and tie them with another rope to my legs, or I could get the vibrator and make myself cum, standing in front of the camera.

I have not cum for what seems like a lifetime, and yet I knew that it would hurt too, but not as much as the first option.

10...9...8....
I hate it when he counts.

7...6...5...
"Cum please Sir"

 I had to walk to the bed and get the vibrator and push it deep into my cunt, turning it on to full.
"Fuck yourself hard slave, ram that vibe in, imagine its my cock fucking you, fucking you like the slave you are"

Standing before him, the rope pulling on my cunt and nipples I fucked myself with the vibrator, the orgasm building deep inside me, coming at me in waves, threatening to overwhelm me, flowing through me .

I begged.

"Please Sir, may your slave be allowed to cum ?"

 "Who do you come for slave"

"Please Sir may your slave be allowed to cum for you Sir ?"

"Are you sure its not for you slave, for your pleasure, this is not about you today?"

And with that I got to the point of no return,but i knew even like that tied, in pain, exposed and fucking myself , I knew if he said stop I would.

"Stand up straight and cum slave"

As I stood up straight the rope pulled on my cunt and nipples and even through the pegs were tight I felt them slipping slowly and excruciatingly painfully off the end of my nipples, and pulling on my cunt at the same time. They pulled off my nipples as I came and fell downwards, the weights attached to the rope pulling on my cunt as the orgasm ripped through me. I cried out and sobbed as the mix of pain and pleasure filled me.

As it subsided, I stood before him, my legs shaking, chest heaving, nipples sore and swollen, the blood rushing in. The rope was swinging form my cunt.

"You are beautiful slave, I love to see you give me your pain, to give me your submission. I love your obidence.Good girl"

 And from deep inside me came the peace, the feelings of submission washed over me. It filled me, took over me and took away the pain.

"Take the pegs of baby, lie on the bed.
Slave you are beautiful, your submission is ht e best gift you can ever give me".

And there I lay. I knew parts of me hurt, I knew that I had pain in me. I knew my holes were still filled, but as I lay on the bed and wrapped myself in my blanket, his voice filled me, my submission completed me.

I was his.

I am.

Open and vulnerable

The morning, he appeared online, just out of the blue, I wasn't expecting him and I was half asleep, having been kept up most of the night by a huge tropical storm.

"Get your toy slave, the big one".

I was not feeling needy or sexy or excited or even particularly obedient, but I huffed my way to the bag and got the toy.

"Open you legs slave and show me your cunt"
So, I did as I was told, and showed him my cunt.

"Put the toy in slave and fuck yourself"
So I put the toy in and fucked myself.

"Cum for me slave".
So I came for him.

And then the connection got cut...............and I was left there, exposed, open , vulnerable, used and alone.
And I waited there for him to come back, and I waited and waited, not knowing what to do, not knowing.......

And he came back............................ finally....................and I was a mess.

I couldn't tell him what was wrong, I just didn't know what to say. I knew he would come back, but I didn't know when.

That's what I hate about being " far far away".

I wonder if I click my heals together...."There's no place like home, theres no place like home".

Nope.................................... not working.
Oh well

The ouchy pegs when Im half asleep

Having had a good time last night and having drunk, which I don't often do I really hoped I would sleep well.........................and when I woke up I knew that he had plans for me; he had told me he had plans....and soIi tried to stay asleep this morning, tried to slay asleep so long that he would get bored and not want to use me, not want to exert his control, I hoped he would leave me all tucked up nice and asleep.

Did he? Did he hell!

The moment I stirred he was on my case. I had barely got my eyes open when he had me on my knees.

He asked me when I had woken up previously if I really thought that he wouldn't know, that he wouldn't see.

Damn he is good.

The next bit of the conversation went something like this:

"What are you?"

"Sleepy Sir"

"No slave, WHAT are you?"

"Tired Sir?"

"I can see this is going to take sometime"

At which point I thought I better begin to behave.

"I am your slave Sir"

"Yes you are, and just to remind you that I am in charge. I am in control of you; of your body, mind and heart. It is me who decides when you have pleasure, pain, I control how you feel and how you behave"

And with that I was sent to get the "toys".

He had me put four pegs on eat breast, ouchy ones, the ones  that bite into me, and then a different one for each nipple, that squashes it into my nipple bars and always makes me gasp as I let go, the pain flooding through me. He changed his mind, and told me to remove them and put one each of the ouchy ones on the nipples. I must have looked at him in horror because he asked, "Do you have a choice?"

And this time as I put the torturous pegs on that clamped onto my nipple like the jaws of a turtle, the tears started to flow down my cheeks as I struggled to get my head round the pain. I could hear the echo of my tears from his laptop thousands of miles away.
He waited, watched as I struggled to regain my composure.


"Ready slave?"

I nodded, not wanting to move, to talk.

More pegs went on my cunt, and one on my clit.
And I knelt there waiting.

The next instruction was to get the hood, and some needles, well not some, just two. It is a while since he used needles and I wondered where they were going.

First he instructed me to put the vibrator deep inside my cunt, on full, and then to close my legs. Once more the pegs dug into my cunt, upping the pain a notch, making me begin to wish I could be somewhere else, even if it was just in my head. Every time I felt myself begin to float away, loosing touch with what was going on, my senses on overload...every time.....he would say something, ask a question, tell me to move, to keep me with him.

The TENS unit came out next and he had me attach the pad to the underside of each breast and turn it on. It started on the lowest level and over the next fifteen minute he upped it to the fifth level.
By now all I could do was follow his instructions, to listen to his voice, and keep my eyes on his..........until ..........he had me get the needles ready and then pull down the hood.

And then all I had was his voice......

He then told me I was allowed to cum, but ....when I came I was to stick the needles into my breast , just above the nipple.

As I came I pushed then both in, and then I was gone..................somewhere far away, a place filled with moments of complete peace and happiness, contentment and a feeling of "rightness".

I heard his voice ,talking me, and it was a struggle to answer him, to bring myself back to him.

I heard him tell me to remove everything,to lie on the bed, to cover myself.

I lay there, feeling loved and cared for, controlled, safe and happy.

When I woke up about twenty minutes later, he was there watching me, waiting for me to talk to him.

After asking how I was feeling, making sure everything was safely away and tidy, he said.....

"Welcome back slave, I have missed you, it's good to have you back".

And that is how I feel, I feel "back".

No place to hide

Yesterday he decided that I should go to the gym early in the morning and then when I had finished I was to go home and spend two hours in my room, I didn't have to do anything specific, just remain there. Then he arranged for me to be online at 6pm to talk to him, saying that he would be using me then.

I tried to stay in the gym as long as possible, but when I returned home , I did not want to go to my room for one minute, let alone 120..........but I did. It was not too bad, I did some paperwork, sorted out a few things, sorted my clothes a bit and before I knew it the time was up. I am not sure if I was meant to be thinking slavey things......but I didn't.

I escaped outside for a bit to get some sun and fresh (89% humidity, 34C...not so fresh)  air and clear my head and then went back inside to wait for 6pm.

I was online just in time and he was waiting for me, we talked for a little while before he sent me back to my room.

He talked at me; telling me about his decisions, about why he had made them and that ....moan, sulk, fight back, whatever, there was no changing the facts ...........that I am his slave and will remain so until or when he decides otherwise, and as he has no plans to release me, leave me, sell me or anything else, I am there for good.

Now I know I should be reassured by this, but I still can't get him to see  things from my point of view.

He told me to strip and put my rope on, once again round my neck tight enough to feel it, but not tight enough to stop me breathing, and then he sent me to the wall to think about how I could be a better slave.

I rolled my eyes.

I wasnt aware of it, but he saw it, and I was firmly told that if I did it again, or pulled a face he would punish me. I stood facing the wall for twenty seven minutes.

I don't like the wall, its boring.......my head is full of thoughts....I made lists, I recalled lyrics from songs, I re-ran conversations in my head, I went through plans for work, thought about an agenda for an upcoming meeting, I tried everything I could not to think about being a slave...............but when I finally ran out of things to keep my mind from going to where it should be, I started to think about it and I started to cry.

I am not sure why I was crying, But I cried and cried and cried...maybe it was a  realisation of what a bitch I have been, what an bad excuse for a slave, maybe it was frustration, maybe it was boredom, maybe it was just sadness..........but Oh boy did I cry.

He called me back to him and had me kneel on the hard floor with then end of the rope under my knees. He had me get the plug and insert it and then four pegs, once on each nipple and one one for each cunt lip. And he talked to me as "the slave" and "it".

He had me put the hood on, the bag that has a draw string, that I have to pull closed and then he told me he would buzz me to cum and then buzz me to take off the hood.

I waited on my knees for the buzz, cut off from the world, cut off from him, the pegs squeezing and pinching, knowing that when I made myself cum, the pegs on my cunt would be pulled and flicked, and would tighten as my lips swelled, as too would the ones on my nipples.

I didn't want to cum, I just didn't want to. When the buzzer went I started to cry again, and tried to delay the cumming, but knew that I couldn't. I knew I had to do what he said..........and so I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't be able to cum, that the "off " button had been switched.......but of course it had not.........and so I came, on the floor, kneeling with the hood on, before my owner......doing as he had told me.

I waited for a long time for the next buzzer and when I took off the hood, I couldn't look up, I couldn't look at him, I was feeling shamed................I think by my behaviour, but also by the fact that my body had done what it is trained to do, to cum when I am told, even when I don't want to, don't feel like I can...........I still do.

 He asked me what was wrong, and I didn't have the words to explain so I sat quietly and tried to just "be"..........and he left me in peace, not talking, just watching. And in my mind I wandered off to  a beautiful beach in Australia that I have walked along, miles of emptiness, soft sand sunshine and clear clear water..............and breathtaking beauty in its simplicity and I felt calmer, happier.

He told me to take three of the pegs off, to tidy up the toys, and to leave my room for one hour and then come back. I chose to keep one on my cunt, as it seemed to hurt the least. So I left the room with the peg and the butt plug and watched the clock for an hour, having a normal conversation , and making coffee, knowing what was in and on me, reminding me of what I am.

When I returned to the computer, he wasn't there......................and by now the peg was very sore, I knelt waiting for him, but couldn't get comfortable, couldn't get my head round the pain, and I longed for him to return. For the first time in a long time, I longed for him. I am ashamed to say, I think mostly it was because I wanted him to remove the peg........

When he came back he told me he had fallen asleep and I began to panic a bit about what I would have done if he had not come back........would I have kept the peg on for hours, would I have taken it off, what would I do?

He asked me what was wrong and I told him the peg hurt and he said that I could remove it................that is the moment we dread, knowing that one type of pain will be replaced by another type, and although I wanted to get it off as fast as possible, I didn't want to take it off at all.....So I took a deep breath and released it, and the pain flowed like a searing flame inside me ......and I cried again.............

He then had me move the cam onto my cunt and hold it open for his inspection and he commented on how wet it was, how swollen and then he  told me to play with my cunt..........and as I got close to cumming he had me stop............he did this four times, till I was fighting hard to control myself and then he let me cum,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and as I came I had to hold my cunt open for him to see, to watch.

He told me there was no place to hide, no place to go..............and that he knew that I was not thinking like I should.................this was just a reminder of who controls my body...............and that he is going to start all over again if needs be; from the very beginning and he will control my mind again too, and then things will be in place again, order will be restored and I will be happy.

He asked me how I felt and I told him "used", he told me I had not been used, I had given him pleasure.

I felt exposed..........I felt used and I cried .................................and as I cried he talked to me, in a low soft gentle voice............................. and I slept.

"Control slave, that's what it's all about"

After sleeping soundly next to him all night, I woke feeling happy and warm, even though I could see the cold light outside the window.
The morning was free for me and so he decided to make the most of it, to make the most of me and or time together.
I was allowed up to make him a cup of tea and to pee and then I had to return to the bed with the ropes, the vibrator and the clothes pegs, all of them, and  a pair of knickers.

I collected all the things as directed and stood at the end of the bed, waiting for permission to get back in, but he lay there, cup of tea in one hand, the end of my night time rope in the other and hummed a little tune to himself.

He drank his tea, indicted I should make him some more and that I was allowed one now he had been served, and so I stood and drank my tea while he watched the news.

"Control slave, that's what this is all about, about how I control you, your life, your body, your mind, your life itself"

And he is right, he does...its not micro management, it never has been and it can't be now, now I am away...but that's what it is,, its control.

He stood up and pointed to the floor. I knelt, as usual, at his feet and he bent down, and pulled the noose so it was tight, but not so tight it hurt and then pushed my head to the floor. He put his foot on the rope close to my face and I was pinned down, unable to move, just as simple as that, within seconds.........."Body, my slave, body"

He then got another rope and tied my ankles together, looping it round both feet, and securing it, he laid it over my back and left it there. I waited for more, but for a while nothing happened and then he lifted his foot and told me to sit up. I knelt up, and he removed my night rope and wrapped the new rope around my neck, so it fell between my tits and collected in a coil on the floor in front of me."Stand up slowly slave or you will choke yourself"

 I stood slowly, and could feel the rope sliding around my neck, he told me to bend my knees a little and then he pulled the rope tight around my neck and warned me not to move. He sat on the bed in front of me and positioned the rope in my cunt right on my clit and pulled it roughly upwards and back round my neck again and then tied it off by my ankles
.
So I am standing there; knees bent, the rope tight around my neck, it pulling onto my clit and he mouths to me "Control".
His hands reach for the pegs and he begins to attach them, first to my ear, one on each lobe, one on each nipple, which he spring shut on and it makes me yelp, so the next to go on my lips to keep then closed to keep me quiet. He then put two on each cunt lip and five more on each tits. and he get out his camera, and he takes photos of my nipples squashed flat between the pegs,  he takes a picture of my cunt with the rope forced deep into it, the pegs pulling my lips down, he takes a photo of my lips closed shut by the pegs.
I stand there and he says  "Pain or pleasure slave what would you like?"

It was just as well I had the pegs on my lips, or I would have been in trouble, did he not know how painful those horrid pegs he insists on using are? Did he not realise ?

Silly question of course he did, he laughed at me and said, Tthink before you speak slave, pleasure always has a price"

He removed the pegs from my lips, kissed me and watched as I turned over in my mind the options he had given me. He knows how hard I find it when he gives me a choice..."Control slave...... of your mind."

And so I asked for pleasure, I don't like pain, I like that he likes pain, I like the fact I have no choice when he hurts me , I like that I have to submit to his wishes , that I am not allowed to say no, but generally I don't like the pain per se.

So standing there slightly bent, in pain, waiting for my pleasure I knew who had all the control. My hands were untied, but there was no way I would ever move them until he told me to...and then he did.
"Make yourself come for me slave, play with your cunt, "

This was easier said than done, the pain from the pegs, the rope digging deeper into my clit every time I moved, the pegs on my nipples biting deep, just as I felt I was beginning to get somewhere, that I was going to cum he stopped me.

He took off all the pegs and told me to start again. the pain as the blood flowed back into my squished flesh sent me over the edge and I started to cum, but as I came, I moved and the rope tightened around my neck, tightened in my cunt, pulling tighter and tighter, biting into me, stopping my breath.

He stood in front of me and commanded me to cum, to let go, cum for his pleasure, not mine, and as I felt the rope bite in futher to my neck, he reached forward and lifted me onto the bed, letting the airflow back into me, letting me breathe.
  I exploded, every time I straightened my body the air stopped and he bent my legs behind me to allow me to breath, and he lent down close to my ear and said to me.................
"Control slave, your mind tells you one thing, your body tells you another, but you do as I say, that is my control"
 And he untied the rope and freed my ankles, gently pulled it from my cunt, open my cunt with his fingers and made me cum again

Owned from the top of my head to the tip of my toes

Work was finally finished and after going out for a drink, where I was instructed that I was to sit quietly, not speaking unless I was spoken to, where I was not to raise my eyes other than when I was replying to him, and then I was only to look at him.

Where he made me describe in fine details how I had felt in the cupboard, to describe how it felt with my hand tied in my cunt, and what I had learnt.
By the time I had finished, my drink was barely touched, my face was bright red and my cunt was wet again.

He told me that when we returned to the room I was to strip and wait for him in the bathroom. I went up the stairs, opened the door, turned the heat up and quickly removed my clothes and put them away as my untidiness drives him mad;he notices even the slightest thing out of place.
I went into the bathroom, and sat on the edge of the bath. It felt cold on my arse, soothing almost where it was sore from his previous efforts. I stood and waited, I wandered round a bit, making things straight, folding and hanging towels again...and I waited.

I heard him open the door and enter the room, but the bathroom door stayed firmly closed. I heard the wardrobe door open and my heat sank a little, but it quickly closed again, followed soon after by his appearance in the doorway.

I was standing up, my hands by my side, unsure of what I was to do.
He lifted the bag he had retrieved from his case in the wardrobe and opened it. There was a large pair of scissors, a razor some shaving foam and a new bar of soap.

He has told me before at some point he will shave my head, that he will show me just how he controls every aspect of my life, including how I look to the outside world. I looked at his face, looked back at the items he was laying on the vanity...."You look like a startled rabbit my slave,You have always known this is a possibility".

This is something I have often thought of , and a part of me has wanted it, but the reality of it is something that has frightened me, worried me about how I explain it to others and I have voiced this to my owner and his response has always been "You only have to worry about what I think slave" and whilst I know this to be true, it is not an easy thing to accept.

"The thing you sometimes forget my slave, especially since you have been away is that I am still the person who controls you, your life. I own you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, and whatever it is I want to do, I can and will do"

And with those words he reached behind me and picked up my pony tail and pulled it upwards, slowly, very slowly, lifting it higher and higher, until my chin was on my chest and I was on the very tips of my toes...."You see from head to toe, slave, head to toe"

And he let go.

I stood very still, hoping that if I stood still I would disappear, that he wouldn't be able to see me, that he would become distracted and forget his intention.I felt  his hand on my shoulder and he pushed me to my knees.
"Bend over slave," and with that he removed the butt plug that had been in there for what seemed like a lifetime.
Once more he grabbed the pony tail and with his foot on the back of my neck he pulled and twisted it, till tears fell onto the floor and I felt he would pull the scalp from my head.  Removing his foot, he pulled me to my feet and stood me up again and picked up the scissors with the other hand.

"Take my cock in your mouth slave"
 And with hands that were shaking so much I don't know how I managed to release his hard cock from his underwear and I placed my lips round it; leaving it in my mouth not sucking, not moving, and he pushed it in further, to the point just before it makes me gag.

 This was the moment .....this was when it was going to start...this was a moment of such intense control, such a moment of submission  that although I was not happy that i was going to loose my hair I began to float away...................he pushed his cock further in, making me gag, bringing me back................

"So my little naked kneeling slave, with her mouth full of her owners cock...what should we do..?

Well to that there really was no answer.

I expected to hear the snip of the scissors, to feel the release of his hand on my head, to see my hair fall to the floor.
Instead he pulled my mouth from his cock, pulled my hair from the pony tail, twisted his hand deep into my hair and twisted .

He turned me round and pushed me towards the bath........................
He lent me over the bath, so my head was almost at the bottom of the bath, pulled my legs open and rammed, as hard as he could, his cock into my cunt. This was the cunt that had had my hand in it for hours, the cunt that had been smacked, and hit with the crop, the cunt that had  longed for him, for his cock, and he rammed it in,  hard, over and over again, driving my hips into the edge of the bath, reaching forward and twisting my tits against the side of the bath, leaning on to them, to keep me still.
 He pulled his cock back and as I expected it to ram again inside my dripping cunt, instead he pushed it slowly and relentlessly into my arse.

With three or four more thrust I felt him shoot his load inside me and remove his cock.

My cunt was desperate for more, wanted him, wanted to be filled with him, but not this time.
He reached over and pulled me gently up, sitting me on the side of the bath, kissing my reddened tits, slipping his hand towards my cunt and once more playing with, pinching my clit....

"You see slave, every inch, from head to toe and all the inches in between.....are mine."

And with that he turned on the shower, made it warm, picked me up , put me into the bath and then began to wash my hair; gently massaging my sore scalp, he washed my body, gently caressing me, lovingly touching me.
I sat on the edge of the bath with my legs wide open while he shave my cunt, finding those few stray  hairs I had missed, rinsing the soap from me, by gently squeezing a towel over my sore and used cunt, then wrapping me in a towel,  he brushed my hair, laid me on the bed and told me to sleep.

I have never felt so owned.

In the cupboard licking my fingers clean

The next morning he was busy, preparing some work on the laptop, I had a free morning, I was not expected anywhere, no meeting, no training, nothing, just some free time.

So there I was at a loose end.....................in the past I have been good at entertaing myself when he is busy, keeping quiet, keeping still, becoming invisible until he wants something....but months and months apart have erode this skill somewhat ...................I tried..........I was sitting on the floor, on the end of my rope, it loosely round my neck, the other end tucked under his bum........and I was reading a magazine, which was, in itself, a real treat.

However, I got bored and felt lonely, a few sighs, a bit of wriggling, a few more sighs, a raised eyebrow from him and a tut. I asked him a couple of questions about something I read, asking his opinion, he half halfheartedly answered me, so I went back to the magazine and read a bit more..........but somewhere alone the line, and I know I wanted his attention. I know I was bored and wanted to talk to him, but I also knew he was busy and that when he is working I should not disturb him. I could have asked to go out, to go for a walk, but I didn't...............I huffed and puffed just once too often and muttered under my breath about being bored.

Bad move.

He very deliberately closed the lid of the laptop, turned towards me and put his finger under my chin. tilting it up so I would look at him..."Is my slave bored?" and like some foolish child, I answered "Oh yes Sir, I am ...I'm bored". 

There after followed a very curt lecture about boredom, intellectual capacity, use of my brain, bad manners and about how I was not thinking about his needs first and was putting what I wanted and thought I needed above what he wanted.

I was shamefaced. I knew he was right, I also knew that this piece of work was important, with a tight deadline and I should know better.

I was sent to the toy bag, which confused me, as I knew there wouldn't be a reward in there for that behaviour.........................he told me to bend over the bed,I felt the coldness of the lube on my arse, his fingers spreading it and then he shoved the plug deep into my hole. I gasped as it filled me and he slapped me, slapped my arse, slapped the tops of my legs and then pulled me up by my hair.

"Still bored slave?"

 Now if I answered yes it would not be the truth because I had what I had wanted...some attention, his attention. If I answered no....it would be as if i felt as I had got what i wanted..........so I kept quiet.....

"Well?"

I opened my mouth to apologise for my behaviour and he, quick as a flash stuffed his fingers into my mouth, pulled me close and informed me, "You will be quiet while I am working, you will NOT disturb me and when I decide you need some attention then I will give it to you, until then I DONT want to hear you"

 He reached down to the bed and got my bra, and using it as a gag, tied it tight around my mouth.

 The rope came off my neck and was tied round one hand. He opened the wardrobe door, and there insdie was the hotel ironing board and iron, his suits  and one of his overnight bags. He removed the bag, pushed the suits across and indicated for me to step inside. He looped the rope over the rail and told me to sit down. I sat in the corner looking out at him, sielntly pleading with him not to do it, but knowing that it was going to happen. My arem was by my side, resting on my lap, but I could see the rope looped over the rail and the other end in his hand.

"If i hear you slave, I will tighten the rope till your arm is raised and every time I hear you I will pull it more, do you understand?"

" I nodded and said a muffled "yes Sir.".

"Now put your fingers from your free hand in your cunt."

 And he tied my hand there, the rope wrapped round my thigh, holding my hand in position.
He looked down at me, fixing me with his eyes "This is where I keep the things I don't need at the moment, this is where they stay until I need them, until I am ready to use them." and with that he pulled the suits into the space and slowly closed the door.

I knew the light would I go off and I would be left in darkness, left in the cupboard.

And it did, the light went off and I anticipated the dark. I hate the dark, which is why I hate the hood, I closed my eyes, which sounds silly for someone who hates the dark, but at least I was in control of it. What if I opened my eyes and there was no light? What if it was completely dark?

 Slowly, hearing my breathing, I opened my eyes and there was light, not much, but a slice of pale light under the door, and there was sound. the sound of my breathing, so I held my breath. I didn't want him to hear me, to come and raise the rope.

Slowly letting my breath out I realised I could hear him typing, I could hear his pen and the vibration of his phone when he got a text.

 Slowly I calmed down, thinking about what was good in the cupboard. I could smell him on his suits, the leg of one was against my sore nipples, brushing against it. I was safe in the cupboard, not very happy but safe.
The plug in my asre was sore and the rope around my thigh was cutting into my flesh a little and I shifted to try and get more comfortable and I heard him clear his throat..............so I stopped.

Time seemed to hang.

My fingers in my cunt, a reminder of what I am, what I am used for.

His phone rang, and I heard him talking to a colleague about this case. Normally I am not allowed to listen, normally he indicates for me to leave the room, or plug in my earphones, or he takes the call somewhere else, but this time he just continued talking and then I heard him agree to meet for lunch. Saying that this was important and he had nothing else on at the moment that was as important, and of course he could meet.

He talked a bit more, and then returned to working.

I sat waiting for him to open the door and it didn't happen, I waited  and it still didn't happen, I had no idea of the time. I heard him use the shower, moving around the room.
He finally opened the door and his hand reached inside the cupboard..................and he removed a clean shirt and the suit that was closest to me and closed the door again.

I felt completely ignored, insignificant............ desolate.

 I heard him gather his things, putting items in his briefcase, Iheard the zip of his laptop bag and then the door opened once more. His hand reached in and I was  hopefully expecting him to reach down and pull me up, but instead he reached down and put a bottle of water next to me and an apple. He showed me the end of the rope was loose on the floor on the inside of the cupboard, straightened his suits, and closed the door.

 And he left.


And then there was no noise........no typing, not phone, no pen on paper noises...nothing
Just me in the cupboard with his suits and the iron and ironing board.

That was it...............nothing more, nothing less.

I knew I couldn't get up, my arm tied to my leg, my fingers inside my cunt still, I knew I wasn't allowed to get up, or open the door or leave the cupboard................I knew i was allowed to drink the water, which he had left open, and I knew I was allowed to eat the apple.......................but nothing more.

I closed my eyes and lent against the wall, holding the leg of one of his suits in my spare hand, not wanting the water, or the apple, although I knew I was expected to eat it, that the water was to be drunk................I only wanted one thing............................I wanted him, my owner.

 I sat and cried in the darkness at the unfairness of it all, at his meanness, how he was reducing the time we had together. I cried at my humiliation of being tied in the cupboard with my fingers stuck in my wet cunt, I cried for the months apart , the times we hadn't been able to talk. I cried because I hadn't got my way and now he had gone and left me.
Finally I stopped crying and it slowly dawned on me.............................that it wasn't about what I wanted, what I thought I needed.......that it was about what he wanted, and that I was and am there for him, and that as I sat in that cupboard I was just another thing he owned, like the suits, to be used when he was ready, like the ironing board, to be got out when he needed me.

I was wrong to have made the fuss, demanding his attention, however subtly I thought I had done it. If I needed something I should have asked, like he has taught me, instead I hadn't, I had put my needs above his, it had not even been a need, just a want, me wanting attention I had demanded from him and I was wrong.

I waited in the cupboard, in the dark, thinking about my owner and how i would behave when he came back.
When I heard him return I stayed very still and very quiet. He didnt rush to open the door, I heard his computer again, heard him call a friend about a meeting next week, heard him make a drink for himself and I smelt the smell of tea................ and then the door opened slowly.

This time I smiled at him, around my gag, and he smiled back.

"I see you have learned you lesson." He lent down and untied the rope around my leg and nodded towards my cunt.
"Lick your fingers clean slave." So I sat in the cupboard,  licking my cunt juice from my fingers, smiling at him.
He pulled me up, sent me to the toilet with a smack on the arse and when I returned he indicated to the place I had been sitting hours before. My magazine was still there.

I sat at his feet, he turned to his computer, patted my head, said quietly "I heard you hold your breath slave. "He looked  down at me, pinched my nipple and said  "Don't ever forget what you are and what you are here for slave", patted me again and continued working.

This time I sat still and quiet and content to wait.

Over his knee and making a wet patch

Across his knee, my toes barely touching the floor and his arm resting against my back, I felt his hand begin to stroke my arse, round and round in circles, one way and then the other, first one cheek and then the other. His finger sometimes tracing between my legs towards my cunt, I tired lifting my hips to meet it, but he just chuckled and pushed it down, with a clear understanding I was not to do it again.

The first strike came , completely unexpectedly. I normally know, normally sense when he has lifted his arm, ready to strike, but I think I was mesmerized by the rhythm of his stroking, by the memory of his cock in my mouth and the fear of not being able to breath. The loud "smack" made me jump and gasp.

It was as if it had happened to someone else...."Awake slave?"

Oh yes all of a sudden I was awake...very awake. My focus sharply brought back to where I was by one moment of time, one smack on the arse.

He played with me for what seemed like hours, gently caressing my ever reddening arse, stroking my legs, playing with my cunt that was by now actually dripping down his leg, making a wet patch on his jeans, and spanking me.

Some of the blows were hard, punch like blows that left me with deep seated throbbing, others, loud slaps that made me jump, others, glancing blows that stung like a bitch and made me try to escape, but he still continued, over and over and over again. I tried to persuade him that his hand must be sore, his arm must ache, but he laughed and told me off for assuming things.I cried, I beg, I pleaded...all to no avail. I wriggled and squirmed and was told if I didn't stay still he would tied the rope round my neck and pull it tight and tie it to his foot.
Finally when my arse was glowing red and there was no way I was ever going to complain of being cold again he allowed me to stand.

As I stood my legs were shaking, so he carefully sat me on the bed, got me a drink of water, and watched me drink it. I didn't want to drink it all, but he told me I had lost so much fluid from my cunt that I must. Oh I blushed at that one; he has such an ability to make me blush. He showed me the wet patch on his jeans and told me to lick it clean. Oh the humiliation  of having to lick my cunt juice from his clothes when all I could think about was my hot asre and and the overwhelming desire to have him touch me more, to let me cum.

When my drink was finished he told me to go to his suitcase as he had a present for me. at the very top of the bag was a plain simple black plastic bag, with no marking, no writing on it, I lifted it and he nodded. I removed the bag and came before him again, knelt in front of him, presenting it to him on my open hands. He told me I could open it. I knew what was in there..........it was a new rope to replace the one I had lost.
I was given a very stern lecture about what was expected of me with the rope, and then I realised that there was not one , but two ropes in there................clean white, soft ropes.

I took the ropes from the bag and placed them on his hands and waited.

Sexy bed socks and a throbbing cunt

I feel like I have been away for a long time, that I have been disconnected. I tried to think about what I would write about my time away.

Some of the time I thought about how I would describe how I had felt, which words I would use to explain the depth of my feelings, my reactions to his words, my responses to his touch..............and I have struggled to find those words that convey how I am feeling now and how I felt then.

So for now, I beg that you forgive my disjointed ramblings, my splurging of thoughts, emotions, mental images onto an empty page, knowing that things become blurred in the fog of submission, muddled in the haze of sub-drop,distorted with emotion and turned upside down by an overwhelming sense of loss.

My head is scrambled; with having to return to normality, to work, with no sleep, jet lag and an emotional bruised heart. I will try to explain.

I was so excited to arrive home, after a long and mostly sleepless journey I arrived in a country that was 38C colder than the one I had left, and with few, if any, appropriate clothes to wear. That was my first concern, that, and of course talking to my owner. He was unable to meet me at the airport, but I still looked for him, just a tiny little bit hopefully that he might have managed to get there , but he hadn't.

The cold , the ice, the bone chilling cold seemed to fill me, sapping what little energy I had, and so the long drive north took me a couple of hours longer than normal, but I went the long way, took the scenic route to avoid the motorways, and went across country, looking at the gray countryside as I passed it. Fields of almost gray grass, naked trees; leafless and seemingly dead. Hedgerow with a few brown and dry leaves hanging from them, frozen puddles of flood water in open fields, long icicles hanging from barbed wire fences where the wind hand blown the spray off puddles, livestock huddled together in corners of fields eating hay dropped by well wrapped farmers, crows sitting by empty nests atop tall dark trees and clouds scudding across a pale blue wintry sky,barely lit by the pale weak northern hemisphere sun, struggling to get above the horizon.

And happy as I was to be home; I missed the green of the jungle, the heat of the sun, and the eye searing brightness of each day.

I arrived at the place I was staying and had to beg for more bedding and ended up with three duvets to snuggle under.
I had two days to wait until I would see my owner, that's two whole days, commitments on both sides that we were unable to get out of , but we talked, we skyped , he laughed at me wrapped like an snowman, he even told me my fluffy bed socks were sexy. I couldn't wait to see him. My heart pounded at the thought of him, the thought of being at his feet, my cunt pulsed and tightened at the thought of feeling his hand on me, fingers entwined in my hair...............all these thoughts filled my head as I tried to concentrate on work..............and then the day arrived.

I got a text that said "I'm 10 miles away...........ready?"

Ready?

Ready?

Was I ready?

Are we ever really ready?

He had told me what to wear, down to the last earring...

My phone beeped.

"Come outside"
I wanted to put the coat on , but I didn't dare, it was not on his list of clothes, so I walked outside and I saw the headlights up the road flash twice, I paused, they flashed again and I walked towards the car. As I got closer he turned it onto full beam and the light filled my eyes. I peered  in the windscreen and he pointed to the passenger door. I opened the door and lent down; feeling like some five pound hooker,

"Get in".

I got in and sat on the seat, not daring to look at him, the seat heater was on and I smiled.

His hand grabbed my pony tail and he pulled me towards him.
He kissed me, ferociously, biting my lips, my tongue, his tongue forcing itself deep into my mouth, his hand tight on my hair , bringing tears to my eyes.
I went to speak to him.

"Silence"

"We are going out for dinner".

And so for the next hour and a half we sat in a restaurant and ate dinner; talking about normal things, the weather, politics, news, work, home, my journey and as these words poured from my mouth my head was thinking completely different words.

I squirmed in my seat, I squirmed more, I wriggled and fiddled with my napkin, I pushed food around my plate until he told me to eat it and all the time I could feel the heat from his body. When he put his hand on my knee I yelped, not very loudly, but I did, I yelped. He laughed, that deep throaty chuckle that  makes me melt.

Then he lifted my skirt and rammed his fingers in my cunt.

"Oh slave," he laughed, "time for us to leave".

This week has two Fridays

This morning I had been ordered  to wake up at 4.30...so I did.

We talked for a bit and I did my morning rituals for him and then he sent me to the shower, as normal. It must have been at that moment a look  passed over my face. Its these sorts of things that irritate him. He feels by pulling a face I am questioning his authority, or disputing that he has the right to do as he pleases. It must have only been a small look, maybe just a quick roll of the eyes, because he asked if I had something on my mind. If it had been a big look, I would have been facing the wall so fast my feet wouldnt have touched the ground.
Well, what had been going through my mind was...."You bastard, you know I am tired, you make me wake up at 4.30 am and talk to you and be pleasant, its dark and I want to sleep, I was looking forward to still being in bed at 6am and you make me wake up at 4.30 am...you bastard"
Now, did I say this?..................... No I didnt................. Should I have said this?............ Maybe I should.
Instead I said in my best slavey response......."Sir, have you remembered its Saturday?"

"Its Friday".

Now being completely stupid and still half asleep I replied......"Sir , it IS Saturday".

"No slave, its Friday, Get in the shower".

And so muttering under my breath about injustice and unfairness, I showered as he watched. I washed my hair as he watched, shaved  my cunt as he watched. As always did everything as he watched me. I then knelt on the floor waiting for him to decide what would happen. I was  silently hoping he would let me go back to sleep for a while, although I am never allowed to sleep in late.

No chance.

"It looks like we have some time to spare this lovely Friday morning.

And he spoke to me about how he was looking forward to the time I am home with him, About how he looks forward to having me in my place; naked at his feet on the end of his rope. He spoke about how he will use my body, the body that belongs to him to use and abuse as he wishes. He spoke off how he is looking forward to having me stand against the wall, with the rope around my neck, and tied, so if I move it will tighten , and how he will take his crop to my tits and hit me with it, how my nipples will feel the end of the crop over and over again and how I will stand still.

He spoke of how my body will look when he has finished with his whip and how when I am sobbing from pain I will be allowed to beg  to take his cock in my mouth and satisfy him.

He spoke of how he will bind my tits, how the rope will run between my legs holding my cunt open so he can use the crop on it and how I will thank him.
He spoke about how he owns me, my heart, my body, my life itself.

And somewhere in all of this I began to float off to that happy slave place. He smiled .

"You see, the control I have over you?"

My cunt was dripping, he made me show him, opening it for him to see, and I was smiling as he made me show him the trail of my juice dribbling down my leg.
He then had me get the cane he likes to use and cane my tits until they were swollen and red, marked all over, my nipples hard and painful, and then turn around and use it on my arse, counting each one as I did.

I know I cannot do it like he does, but after three hundred my arse was hot and sore and crisscrossed with marks, and he had me show him my cunt again.....this time I blushed.

The vibrator was turned on and as it vibrated against my cunt, my clit swelling, throbbing, I begged to be allowed to cum, but it was denied. He watched my face as I struggled to control myself.

"Now" he said.

And I felt my whole body shudder at the sound of his voice, my cunt tightening, pulsing  as I came, overwhelmed by passion, desire and most of all by my submission to him.

I knelt before him, sweat running beteen my tits, down my back, tendrils of hair stuck to my neck and I flaoted away..................I know he told me to climb on the bed, I know he told me to cum again for him, and I heard, far in the distance those words................"Good girl" and it filled me with an overriding feeling of happiness, that I knew I had pleased him, that he was happy.

He left me there for a while. I remember seeing the sunrise, the light quickly filling the room, I remember hearing the birds, but beyond that nothing else. I didn't fall asleep....... I lay there until I heard him call me to him, and I pulled myslef back, fighting the wish I had to stay there, in that bliss filled limbo, to do as he wanted and return to him.................I asked him what I should do...............and he asked what day is it .......my response?

"Friday Sir, its Friday".

He laughed, told me that I should remember this week, when I had two Fridays and he told me to go away and have breakfast and relax.

It has thrown me all day, because although I know its not Friday and I don't have to work this Saturday, I have been at a loss of what to do with my time.....a little reminder in control he called it.

My mind has been on him all day, which I think was his evil plan all along.

His hands are big.

His hands are big.

The gentle caress as he strokes my hair, teasing his finger through it, untangling the knots of my sweat dampened hair. Twisting his fingers through my hair and closing his hand, slowly pulling my head back until my throat is exposed. Pulling me by my hair, as I scramble behind him on my knees across the room to be pushed into the corner, or pulled up to suck his cock. His hand on the back of my head, fingers entwined in the hairs at the nape of my neck, forcing him deeper down my throat, my hair covered in cum.

His hand cupping my breasts, gently circling them, stroking, making me squirm with delight. Fingers playing with my nipples, rolling them between finger and thumb, gently teasing and pulling, tracing the shapes of my nipple, then squeezing, cruelly twisting and pulling; bringing tears to my eyes and sobs catching in the back of my throat as the pressure increases. Flicking my tender nipples, slapping, twisting and squeezing my breasts, punching, bruising and scratching.



Gentle erotic finger, teasing the lips of my cunt, exploring opening the folds and finding that spot that brings me to the point of explosion, pulling away, knowing just what to do till I am shaking and begging for permission.. Fingers forced inside, one after the other, pounding and digging, scratching, pulling until I want to retreat away from them ,hurting and demanding

The lightest of touch on my face with his fingers, tracing the shape of my lips, running over my eyes lashes, the base of my throat. The suddenness of the slap, stinging and burning, the shock of the noise as his hand moves past my ears and connects with my face. His fingers forced into my mouth, examining me, pulling my mouth wider , pushing down my throat, or wet from my cunt demanding to be cleaned.

 His finger running with the touch of  the softest feather down my spine, teasing the shape of my buttocks, to the base of my spine, his hand stroking my back. The first slap, hot and sudden, followed by more and more, a pattern building ,faster and faster, harder and harder, each cheek wanting more, my inability to prevent the need to lift up and meet his hand, until the slaps become interspersed with a fist striking my cheeks, the tempo changing. The floating away on the pain, the submissiveness it fills me with, the humiliation I feel as he tells me why he has to do this to me.

Fingers travelling down from my jaw, making me purr with pleasure, rubbing my tired neck, easing the troubles of the day away.Gently stroking, relaxing. The  gradual increased pressure on my throat. My eyes drawn to his face as the pressure increases, feeling each individual finger as it closes, tighter and tighter, restricting the air as I begin to drift away, filled with peace and trust.

The gentle big hands cupping my face, moving my damp hair from my face, the fingers wiping away my tears, hands wiping my face with a cool flannel, rubbing in cream and tending to cuts, loving, reassuring hands.


One hand on me as I fall asleep beside him, the other,  holding the end of my rope.

His hands are big