A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Humiliation , a cane and a cold shower.

Yesterday he sent me to go and buy a replacement rope for the ones I inadvertently left behind, so off I went, but it was at the end of a fifteen hour day, and I sort of was huffing and puffing about it, and then to be faced with the choice of 2, neither of which were like my own....I was not very happy...but I chose the smaller of the two as I didn't think I would be able to move in the other one.

When I spoke to him last night, he allowed me to tie my normal rope and then put it on, it was such a relief, and felt so lovely to have it there, and he didn't once mention why I had a new one.

He then announced that he would be using me for his pleasure, and he had a definite chuckle in his voice.
He told me it was not a punishment, just a gentle reminder, so one peg on my tongue, one on each each ear. one on each cunt lip and one on my stomach. I was then sent to face the wall and make sure the tongue peg was touching the wall.
I waited and waited there. I hate the drool, I really do, I hate the noise it makes when it falls on the floor, I hate the taste it leaves, the dryness in my mouth, the smell of drool is not nice, and I hate the whole humiliation feeling that floods over me when I am drooling.

I was then told to make myself cum without moving anything else other than my hand. But you know what its like when you do cum..... well my head moves and that fucking peg was banging against the wall and my tongue, and the drool was everywhere.
He made me remain there for another 10 minutes or so, until there was a big pool of drool which I and then  had to lick up. I  returned to him on my knees and I had to use my tongue to flick the peg around. the drool was going in all directions, and whilst moving the peg, and drool flicking all over my face and tits, over the floor and well, everywhere, I had to cum again.

Humiliation is one of those feeling that just sends me to that place where I just can't function, I felt full of it, it covered me like the drool; horrid, nasty, dirt, feeling lack of self, dehumanised.

By the time he had finished with me, my head was a mess, I couldn't think straight, could hardly speak,and found it so difficult to get myself ready for bed. It took me three attempts to tie my nighttime rope, I got tangled in the bed covers and almost cried because I couldn't sort them out, I couldn't set my alarm, I was a mess.
He stayed online talking to me, making sure I was ok, telling me what to do, talking to me like you would to a small lost child, which i guess is somewhat how I felt.
And in the night, each time I woke, and it was a lot, he was there, sending me back to sleep, telling me I was ok, that he was there. I felt so cared for.

This morning his silly mood continued, and he wanted to enjoy himself some more

I had  a peg on one ear, and then had to get the cane that he sent me here with. and balance it between my nose and upper lip, and recite the alphabet backwards, then count backwards from 100 without it falling off! easy peasy.

Then  I had to balance it on the bridge of my nose and repeat the recital.
I thought I was doing fine, until he said "Now stand up and make yourself cum, and don't let it fall off".

Oh dear oh dear.

 Standing up was easy, playing with my cunt was manageable...but cumming...off it went.
So I had to put a peg on each nipple and do it again...........

I managed to get to the cumming bit again, and it crashed to the floor!

I was not looking forward to cumming again, its no fun by yourself. But,as usual, he always manages to keep one step ahead of me and offered me a choice................. something nice now and horrid later or something horrid now and something nice later.

 Well I am the queen of deferred gratification, so I chose the second option.

 He said " go and get straight into the shower"................and I couldn't help it....the word "bastard" just slipped out.......

Was he cross? No he laughed, told me that he had heard me and agreed. I had to stay there in that freezing shower, and I hate it. But I stayed as told to, until he told me to make it warm, and then I didn't want to get out. I am not sure if that was the nice thing or not...but if so ...not much a good deal in my book.....but then I'm not the author

 My owner has always said that he knew it would be difficult while I was away, that both of us would find it hard, but with hard work, we would be okay, I would be okay.
And you know what? He is right....very right.

I feel his control, I feel submissive, i know I am his slave, he is still at the forefront of my thoughts when he should be, I feel loved and cared for...and oh boy has he worked hard to make me feel all these things...so

Even for the cold shower Sir.................thank you.

1 comment:

  1. hi

    sorry i laughed out loud when i read you got caught saying the B word!!!!

    blossom x