A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Monday, 10 January 2011

I have stolen something that belongs to my owner.

This morning I woke early, very early and I had been dreaming.

Usually I have scary dreams, ones that follow me into the day and bits of them reappear in my mind, shaking me, unsettling me. Sometimes the dreams are repeats of ones from my childhood,sometimes they stop and start over and over again,  over the period of a days or over and over in one night.

They scare me, wake me up, frighten me to the point of being afraid to go back to sleep, sometimes I  cry or call out.

When I am with him, he soothes me and holds me, or gently wakes me, although they are less frequent when I am with him, a lot less frequent.

However...this was not one of those dreams...............this dream was hot.......oh so hot.

I can't recall now what it was about, I couldn't even when I woke up, which is unusual, but I just remember it was hot.

I was half awake when I realised just how aroused I was, how wet my cunt was and without thinking my hand traveled south. Slowly feeling my passion rising, the throbbing growing, the need to satisfy myself overwhelming .............and without thinking....................I made myself cum.

.........oh it was good, one of those ones where you cum and then drift off back to sleep feeling Goooooooood.

But when I woke up properly about an hour later and realised what had happened,  what I had done I felt so bad.

He has never said to me that I am not allowed to, but I just know I am not permitted to. this is a slave's body and it belongs to its owner, on that point there is no discussion. He can use, abuse and do to it whatever, whenever he likes, and I always have to ask permission to cum.

And now I have to tell him, I have to 'fess up. He will want all the details, every thing I did, everything I thought and no doubt why I thought I had the right to do what I did.

And I don't know how to tell him, but I cannot delay telling him or that will just compound things and then I will be in trouble for lying by omission, and I have never lied to him. But I honestly do NOT know what to say, how to word it, how to begin to talk about it.........I just don't know.


  1. that dread of confession can be really tough (and in some ways, can be worse than the actual telling, i think!)... you'll feel so much relief once you share it, no matter the consequences... good luck HS!


  2. Confess before he finds out and you feel worse (in every sense).

  3. kk, you are right, it is worse, and I know I will feel relieved, but ...I'm not looking forward to it, but thanks for your thoughts and wishes...... and
    submissive bf....thank you, you are right.