A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Sunday, 10 July 2011

Back on track

Well, where to start?

 There has been little or nothing to write about. Work has been flat out, trying to get ready before I leave, added onto that some extra stuff that I can't even mention so things have been pretty chaotic.

My owner has been very busy too, so we have had snatched phone call, midnight text and half mumbled calls as he or i fall asleep.
The problem with the friend has been resolved, but it really upset me , and he looked after me so carefully, making sure I was ok, able to cope with the added stress of it all at a very busy time, but realizing that I needed more control from him to put me back in a place where things felt more normal, yet knowing that he would have to tread carefully at the same time, so as not to overload me. he is very intuitive, that and he knows me so very well, he knows when to come down hard, when he ease off, when to just listen t me, and when to tell me to stop crying!

The resolution with the friend was relatively quick, she apologized and I forgave her, I am not one to hold a grudge, at all. However, I have found that it has really shaken me, it has made me realise how vulnerable you are when you trust someone, how  easy it is to get very badly hurt and be made to doubt your own judgement. In life this has happened before , and i resolved I would never be trusting again, but some of us, are, by nature, just like that. After ranting on about how I would never trust anyone, how i would be hard like all the other bastard around me etc etc etc, I remained that way for about 36 hours, then i was back to my normal self!...Back to normal....just a little more wary!
He has promised me a lone "playtime" before I leave, I know he is planning to use me hard, to get me to think, to get back in the right frame of mind to be with him,it will probably be tomorrow all things being equal.
Am I looking forward to it?
Do I need it?

Tonight he is planning something too, but I am not sure what, I will have to wait and see.

1 comment:

  1. I"m glad you're "back to normal." To my way of thinking, there's nothing wrong with being cautious.

    And sounds like there's lots in store for you with your Master ~ yikes!