What he was fixing up was a a selection of ropes. In the ceiling of the bedroom, was an old oak beam, with the roof exposed above the beam. He called me upstairs, and looked at the ropes. He had arranged them so there were two loops to go over my wrists and another one for my neck, they were tied so that they wouldn't tighten or loosen if I moved, but as I stood while he tied them, I could feel them snug against my skin.
He talked to me while he was tying them, talked about our day and how much he had enjoyed it, he talked about eh ropes,a nd he talked about what was going to happen to me. He told me that he would be downstairs while i was upstairs waiting, and he would be up in a while to see that I was ok. He turned the small television on and left.
The television programme was boring, it was about antiques, but mainly it was people having their ego massaged by the specialist confirming what they already knew, and most of them left with smug smiles on their faces, only a few genuine surprises. The volume was loud enough for me to hear it, but not so loud as to fill my head. I soon lost interest in the programme and began to think about the week ahead, hoping for things that we would do, places we may visit. I thought about what had happened so far, I smiled to myself remembering and also knowing that there would be bits that I would never remember.
My arms began to ache a little, but by shifting I could change the pull on them so as to make it bearable and the rope around my neck was fine. I found by moving my head I could actually rest it against my ear and lean on it.
I remember drifting off a little and going into a daydreaming like state, not for any other reasons than I could.
I remember thinking that he hadn't come up to see my and knowing how long the television programme was on for, I knew I had been there about an hour. It crossed my mind that maybe he had fallen asleep downstairs and had forgotten me, or maybe he was eating the dinner I had prepared,, but I couldn't smell it.
Time seemed to seep away, seeping out from under the door, and this time, I did really did drift off, not to sleep, but to that place where the control runs through you,fills your head, empties your head of other things and you know that the waiting is the important part, because it is the start of what is to come.
The next thing I recall is his hands undoing the rope around my neck and his standing behind me, his hand gently rubbing my arse................and the word floated in the air....
"Ready?"
I didn't speak...I just nodded.....and his hand came down on my arse cheek, hard and fast, full on, making a loud loud noise, immediately filling my head, taking away all other thoughts. I began to focus on the feel of his hand on my skin, not the pain, but the feel of him...if it was his whole hand, or if it was a glancing blow; stinging, or the full hand. Feeling the warmth of his skin.
The spanking continued for a long time, and I began to cry. He stopped and stood in front of me, looking deep into my eyes.
"Why are you crying slave, does it hurt?"
I nodded and replied that yes, it did hurt.
He smiled again, "No floating off slave, now you are to count"
And with each spank, I counted and thanked him , aroud the sixty mark I was struggling, so he stopped for a while and told me there would be ten more...and there were...ten of the hardest he has ever given me.
But I continued to count, because I have found from experience, if I don't it will all start again. There were moments when he had to wait for me to say the number, but we got there in the end.
And then he took his belt off..........................I felt the first one, I didnt count.................................
His hands reached up to me and he undid the rope from the beam and carefully lowered my arms and moved me to the end of the bed, bent me over the bed and used the rope to tie my arms to the bedhead and he fucked me; ramming himself hard into me,until he was spent.
My arse was on fire, my arms hurt, my chest was heaving and my cunt was bruised and battered from his use.
He undid my hands once more, untying the ropes and rubbing my wrists and he held me in his arms, stroking my hair, telling me he was pleased with me, that he was happy, that I was his girl, his good girl and that from now until I went back, he would use me like this, one way or another.
He wrapped me in the blanket he had brought from home, and lead me downstairs to eat.
I wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat, but he fed me bits of the meal, making me eat and then telling me I could clear up later, he sat me at his feet, still wrapped in the blanket and I fell asleep.
Later, as cleaned my teeth before going to bed he showed me my arse and my back. My arse was turning blue with deep bruises, and across my arse and back you could see the marks of the edge of the belt where he had whipped it across me.
He rubbed the cream into them , , running his finger along them, and counting them..."next time slave you will count the belt as well" and he pulled me close to him and we drifted off tosleep
Showing posts with label nipple pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nipple pain. Show all posts
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
The level of control
He took my hand in his and held it tightly, he told me how much he had missed me and how he had dreamed of this moment, when I was once again truly his.
He told me that he knew my heart was his, and now he had reclaimed my mouth as his, it was time for the next part of me.
He sent me into the bathroom for a shower and told me to make sure that when I returned that I was dry. I spent a long time in the bathroom, running through in my mind what had happened , what I was feeling and wondering what would be next.
I returned to the bed room and there on the bed was a bag, smallish but long .I knelt at the end of the bed and waited for him.
His hand reached to my chin and lifted my face to his...............he smiled and slowly tied a blindfold over my eyes, soft black material completely covering my eyes, blocking out the light. He took my hand once more and laid it on his chest above his heart and then moved it to my chest and did the same.
"Be a good girl and don't fight me, don't complain".
He took my hand behind my back and began to tie a rope around my wrist and then the other, pulling them together, the rope ran up my arms to my elbows and I felt him tie them off.
Then very slowly and carefully he began to wind a different rope, a rough rope around my chest, under my tits and over the top, pulling tighter and tighter with each go, and I felt the rope tighten around my tits, pushing them , squeezing them, the blood restricted them, swelling quickly...my nipples tight.
I stood as still as I could while he worked, he ocassionally adjusted my body's stance; moving me, rearrnaging me very slightly.
He took the first rope and pulled my arms upwards and backwards slightly, and then wound the rope once around my neck, pulling it, pushing the rope between my tightly bound tits. I realised he had tied the rope round the rope there and then he ran it between my legs and tied it back onto the loop around my wrists.
I now stood very still, knowing that if I moved the rope would either tighten around my neck, pull the other rops tighter around my tits or dig deeper into my cunt.
He kissed me and told me to open my mouth and as I did, he placed a thin cord over my tounge and told me to keep it there, and then very carefully and gently he attached each end to one of my nipple bars. He warned me if I let go of the cord we would start all over again.
I stood still as I felt him check the ropes; he checked the rope around my neck, he kept checking it throughout the whole session, to make sure I was ok.
He walked around me, talking about what he could see, what he liked and then without warming he slapped my tits very hard and as he did he said "cord". I had opened my mouth to gasp, but shut it quickly.
I waited for the next slap...and it came...................... along with the pinching, the squeezing, poking, probing, examining. He pulled on the ropes till they were cutting into me, deep inside my cunt, the rough rope burning.
The slaps on my swollen tits hurting, stinging, filling them with heat and pain.
I stood, taking it, knowing this was what he needed...........it was hard, it hurt, but he needed for me to do as I was told, to take what he was giving me.
I longed for it to stop.
In my head I stopped it and began to imagine him undoing the rope, stopping the pain. I imagined his arms around me once more, but it continued, and with each movement, each response to his actions, one bit of rope or another bit deeper, tightened,...hurt. And every time I moved my head the neck rope would tighten and loosen, and the cord tied to my nipple bars would jerk and pull, sending hot rods of pain deep inside me
And then it did stop.
He leaned close into me.........his lips brushing my ear..............."Stay still, remember the cord" and I heard him leave the room and turn on the bath and I knew it was over soon. I held that cord so tight in my teeth.I did not want it to start again, I really didn't.
He cam back in and I felt his damp fingers on my wrists and slowly he began to undo the ropes, pulling the rough rope gently out of my cunt, gently massaging my wrist and arms, but still leaving the blindfold on.
And he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, and stood me up , and helped me into the warm water, the smell of jasmine filling the air, and as he undid the blindfold and took it away, he was all I could see.
He kissed me once more and said.
"Thank you, slave. Stay there, I will be back."
He returned with a cold glass of champagne and sat on the edge of the bath watching while I lay there relaxing, and then helped me dry myself as I got out.
I went back into the bedroom, where my clothes now lay on the bed, with a beautiful new necklace, made from silver and garnets......and he told me to dress, we had a dinner booking.
I was very unslavely and leapt at him, flung my arms around his neck, wrapped my legs around his waist and covered his face with kisses.
He laughed so loud, gently pushed me away, then flung me on the bed, slapped my arse and told me to be quick.
He told me that he knew my heart was his, and now he had reclaimed my mouth as his, it was time for the next part of me.
He sent me into the bathroom for a shower and told me to make sure that when I returned that I was dry. I spent a long time in the bathroom, running through in my mind what had happened , what I was feeling and wondering what would be next.
I returned to the bed room and there on the bed was a bag, smallish but long .I knelt at the end of the bed and waited for him.
His hand reached to my chin and lifted my face to his...............he smiled and slowly tied a blindfold over my eyes, soft black material completely covering my eyes, blocking out the light. He took my hand once more and laid it on his chest above his heart and then moved it to my chest and did the same.
"Be a good girl and don't fight me, don't complain".
He took my hand behind my back and began to tie a rope around my wrist and then the other, pulling them together, the rope ran up my arms to my elbows and I felt him tie them off.
Then very slowly and carefully he began to wind a different rope, a rough rope around my chest, under my tits and over the top, pulling tighter and tighter with each go, and I felt the rope tighten around my tits, pushing them , squeezing them, the blood restricted them, swelling quickly...my nipples tight.
I stood as still as I could while he worked, he ocassionally adjusted my body's stance; moving me, rearrnaging me very slightly.
He took the first rope and pulled my arms upwards and backwards slightly, and then wound the rope once around my neck, pulling it, pushing the rope between my tightly bound tits. I realised he had tied the rope round the rope there and then he ran it between my legs and tied it back onto the loop around my wrists.
I now stood very still, knowing that if I moved the rope would either tighten around my neck, pull the other rops tighter around my tits or dig deeper into my cunt.
He kissed me and told me to open my mouth and as I did, he placed a thin cord over my tounge and told me to keep it there, and then very carefully and gently he attached each end to one of my nipple bars. He warned me if I let go of the cord we would start all over again.
I stood still as I felt him check the ropes; he checked the rope around my neck, he kept checking it throughout the whole session, to make sure I was ok.
He walked around me, talking about what he could see, what he liked and then without warming he slapped my tits very hard and as he did he said "cord". I had opened my mouth to gasp, but shut it quickly.
I waited for the next slap...and it came...................... along with the pinching, the squeezing, poking, probing, examining. He pulled on the ropes till they were cutting into me, deep inside my cunt, the rough rope burning.
The slaps on my swollen tits hurting, stinging, filling them with heat and pain.
I stood, taking it, knowing this was what he needed...........it was hard, it hurt, but he needed for me to do as I was told, to take what he was giving me.
I longed for it to stop.
In my head I stopped it and began to imagine him undoing the rope, stopping the pain. I imagined his arms around me once more, but it continued, and with each movement, each response to his actions, one bit of rope or another bit deeper, tightened,...hurt. And every time I moved my head the neck rope would tighten and loosen, and the cord tied to my nipple bars would jerk and pull, sending hot rods of pain deep inside me
And then it did stop.
He leaned close into me.........his lips brushing my ear..............."Stay still, remember the cord" and I heard him leave the room and turn on the bath and I knew it was over soon. I held that cord so tight in my teeth.I did not want it to start again, I really didn't.
He cam back in and I felt his damp fingers on my wrists and slowly he began to undo the ropes, pulling the rough rope gently out of my cunt, gently massaging my wrist and arms, but still leaving the blindfold on.
And he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, and stood me up , and helped me into the warm water, the smell of jasmine filling the air, and as he undid the blindfold and took it away, he was all I could see.
He kissed me once more and said.
"Thank you, slave. Stay there, I will be back."
He returned with a cold glass of champagne and sat on the edge of the bath watching while I lay there relaxing, and then helped me dry myself as I got out.
I went back into the bedroom, where my clothes now lay on the bed, with a beautiful new necklace, made from silver and garnets......and he told me to dress, we had a dinner booking.
I was very unslavely and leapt at him, flung my arms around his neck, wrapped my legs around his waist and covered his face with kisses.
He laughed so loud, gently pushed me away, then flung me on the bed, slapped my arse and told me to be quick.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
It is not a good idea to tell your owner that he is harrassing you
The last few days have been filled with frustration. My passport has gone" walk about". I have been promised it will be back when I need it, but I am beginning to get a little anxious, well more than a little anxious, in fact, I am chomping at the bit. I have not got to the stamping my foot bit yet, but will be there soon.
Then my back account has had something funny (as in peculiar, most definitely not amusing) happen to it, and I cannot get any money out unless I present myself to the bank with my ID card and my Passport(see above)...so life is a little trying at present.
Add to that communication has been difficult with my owner, My laptop has been in for repair and so I have have had to rely on my phone, which would have been fine, except I broke my old one and bought a new one, which is an Android phone. Anyone over 40 should not be given a new phone and be expected to be able to use it within the next week...OMG...its driving me crazy.
My owner has got very frustrated, I have missed calls, missed phone dates etc etc. I was given a big lecture about being there when I was told to be.
I told him that he was harassing me...oh dear that did not go down well at all...he was not impressed, at all, in fact I was punished for being rude, being late and generally just being arsy.
I had to stand on tiptoe, facing the wall, with my nipples pegged and keep the sim card from my phone pressed to the wall with my nose, and after thirty minutes of this I was allowed to stop.
Thinking it was over, I started to ask to be allowed to say that I was sorry when he had me peg my mouth together. Not just one peg, but six pegs. I hate this more than just about anything, and then I had to put the hood on. I was left to think about my behaviour for a while and then he began to give me instructions.
"Bend over and hold your ankles"
"Do star jumps"
"Touch your toes"
More and more instruction followed...from the ridiculous to the demanding to painful and humiliating.
On and on it went, for hours, on and off. he would stop and start again, pegs on, pegs off, hood on, hood off,...until he asked...
"Do you feel harassed yet slave? "
I didn't know what to answer.
""You are not harassed slave, I tell you to do something and you do it, that is how it is, If I want to phone you every five minutes all night then I can. I would not because it is not in your best interests, but I can, and I would expect you to answer the phone, politely each time. I was trying to get hold of you, I was waiting around for you to respond. That is NOT how it should be. You will not keep me waiting again, without a very good reason, and I expect you to tell me if ANY of your plans have to be changes. Do you understand?"
I was ashamed of how I had been behaving. Instead of talking to him and telling him what was going wrong and how I was feeling, I thought that as there was nothing he could do, I would just get on with it and then lashed out at him when it all went more wrong.
"Go to bed and think about what you have done, and what you should have done, I want an email by 9am telling me what you think. Sleep well slave, remember love you and that I always want what is best for you. When I have read your email I will talk to you. Goodnight "
And with that i was sent to bed. I cried a little, fumed a little and fell asleep thinking about what to write. I woke early the next morning and wrote him a short email about what I thought, and with my finger hovering over th esend button, I closed my eyes and pressed it.
I waited and very soon he signed into speak to me.
One word popped up.
"Finished"
I did not know what it meant...had he finished reading it...what?
He turned the camera on...
"He was smiling at me....."Its finished slave, done with, good girl "
OH sigh, I felt so much better.
He was right, I should have told him, should have given him the opportunity to have his say, offer his advice and opinion, it is not my choice to decide which bits of my life I include him in, all of my life is his.
I am his.
Then my back account has had something funny (as in peculiar, most definitely not amusing) happen to it, and I cannot get any money out unless I present myself to the bank with my ID card and my Passport(see above)...so life is a little trying at present.
Add to that communication has been difficult with my owner, My laptop has been in for repair and so I have have had to rely on my phone, which would have been fine, except I broke my old one and bought a new one, which is an Android phone. Anyone over 40 should not be given a new phone and be expected to be able to use it within the next week...OMG...its driving me crazy.
My owner has got very frustrated, I have missed calls, missed phone dates etc etc. I was given a big lecture about being there when I was told to be.
I told him that he was harassing me...oh dear that did not go down well at all...he was not impressed, at all, in fact I was punished for being rude, being late and generally just being arsy.
I had to stand on tiptoe, facing the wall, with my nipples pegged and keep the sim card from my phone pressed to the wall with my nose, and after thirty minutes of this I was allowed to stop.
Thinking it was over, I started to ask to be allowed to say that I was sorry when he had me peg my mouth together. Not just one peg, but six pegs. I hate this more than just about anything, and then I had to put the hood on. I was left to think about my behaviour for a while and then he began to give me instructions.
"Bend over and hold your ankles"
"Do star jumps"
"Touch your toes"
More and more instruction followed...from the ridiculous to the demanding to painful and humiliating.
On and on it went, for hours, on and off. he would stop and start again, pegs on, pegs off, hood on, hood off,...until he asked...
"Do you feel harassed yet slave? "
I didn't know what to answer.
""You are not harassed slave, I tell you to do something and you do it, that is how it is, If I want to phone you every five minutes all night then I can. I would not because it is not in your best interests, but I can, and I would expect you to answer the phone, politely each time. I was trying to get hold of you, I was waiting around for you to respond. That is NOT how it should be. You will not keep me waiting again, without a very good reason, and I expect you to tell me if ANY of your plans have to be changes. Do you understand?"
I was ashamed of how I had been behaving. Instead of talking to him and telling him what was going wrong and how I was feeling, I thought that as there was nothing he could do, I would just get on with it and then lashed out at him when it all went more wrong.
"Go to bed and think about what you have done, and what you should have done, I want an email by 9am telling me what you think. Sleep well slave, remember love you and that I always want what is best for you. When I have read your email I will talk to you. Goodnight "
And with that i was sent to bed. I cried a little, fumed a little and fell asleep thinking about what to write. I woke early the next morning and wrote him a short email about what I thought, and with my finger hovering over th esend button, I closed my eyes and pressed it.
I waited and very soon he signed into speak to me.
One word popped up.
"Finished"
I did not know what it meant...had he finished reading it...what?
He turned the camera on...
"He was smiling at me....."Its finished slave, done with, good girl "
OH sigh, I felt so much better.
He was right, I should have told him, should have given him the opportunity to have his say, offer his advice and opinion, it is not my choice to decide which bits of my life I include him in, all of my life is his.
I am his.
Monday, 27 June 2011
The conversation went like this
"Hello Slave...no talking just listen".
I want to see you naked on your knees, kneeling before me your rope around your neck, your skin wet from a shower.
I want to know that you are there, ready before me, waiting to please your owner, ready to do whatever you are asked, ready to willingly do anything, take anything and be anything.
I want you to imagine yourself there now, waiting for me, feeling my hand slowly tracing down your body, cupping your breast, gently squeezing your nipple, feeling the bar I put inside you as a sign of my ownership.
I want to to think of the times you have waited like this for me, sometimes for minutes and sometimes for hours. I need you to think how you have felt as you have waited, how you have longed to feel my hand on you. How sometimes it has been gentle, caring and soft and how other times I have come up behind you and pulled your hair backwards, or how I have squeezed your nipples so hard that your knees have buckled , or the times I have pulled you up by your nipples and squeezed your breast so hard that you have cried.
Can you feel my hand slave, can you, slipping slowly round your neck, gently squeezing, your eyes on mine until I press harder and harder, and noises and sensations become detached in your brain?
Can you feel yourself struggle for breath as I close my hand over your mouth, and how you know I may close my fingers over your nose, your very breath under my control?
Think how you feel slave, when you are against the wall, or your arse in the air and I am examining you, how you feel when I make you eat and drink from your bowl, my foot on your neck or your rope pinning you to the ground at my feet. Think how you feel when your crawl across the floor drooling and begging me to allow you to suck my cock, or be allowed to cum. And think how you feel when I say no, how you have pleaded and begged me. How do you feel when I call you slut, toy, it, pain toy, slave? How does it feel when you are left on the floor and I step over you, or when I treat you as just another one of my things, one of my possessions?
When you sleep at night slave, next to me how do you feel? Is it different when you sleep at my feet, or when I make you sleep on the floor? Or when I wake you at night to please me , to suck my cock, or to play with yourself for my enjoyment?
Think my slave how these things make you feel.
When I tell you what you may or may not do, when I have you remain still or fear the consequences, when I bound you, the rope tightening as you move, the times the ropes holds you open exposing you, giving unrestricted access to your body and thus your soul.
And how my slave does it feel when you are spanked? My hand on your arse, or the crop, biting into you, stinging, think of the sound of my belt as I take it off and you know it will be used on your body and how you hold yourself still for me while I use it on you, on your arse, your body, your breasts. Think how your feel when you see my hand reach for the whip, think slave.
This slave, is your life, you are mine, and everything you have and do is mine to control, every pleasure , every pain, every breath..................my control slave.
I will talk tou you tomorrow slave, go to bed and No talking to anyone, I want my words to fill your head, don't speak, no tv no radio, no music tonight, go to sleep".
And I went to bed, my cunt dripping with longing, my head filled with his voice and my night filled with the images he had planted there, flashing images in my dreams that left me wanting him, needing those feeling he had talked about, needing to feel his control, needing that submissive feeling to wash over me, flow into my body, my heart, my soul, my being.
This morning he did not mention his phone call, did not refer to it, it was like it never happened. I began to wonder if I had imagined it, dreamt it, but I looked on my phone and he HAD called.
Now he is working..........................*sigh*
.
I want to see you naked on your knees, kneeling before me your rope around your neck, your skin wet from a shower.
I want to know that you are there, ready before me, waiting to please your owner, ready to do whatever you are asked, ready to willingly do anything, take anything and be anything.
I want you to imagine yourself there now, waiting for me, feeling my hand slowly tracing down your body, cupping your breast, gently squeezing your nipple, feeling the bar I put inside you as a sign of my ownership.
I want to to think of the times you have waited like this for me, sometimes for minutes and sometimes for hours. I need you to think how you have felt as you have waited, how you have longed to feel my hand on you. How sometimes it has been gentle, caring and soft and how other times I have come up behind you and pulled your hair backwards, or how I have squeezed your nipples so hard that your knees have buckled , or the times I have pulled you up by your nipples and squeezed your breast so hard that you have cried.
Can you feel my hand slave, can you, slipping slowly round your neck, gently squeezing, your eyes on mine until I press harder and harder, and noises and sensations become detached in your brain?
Can you feel yourself struggle for breath as I close my hand over your mouth, and how you know I may close my fingers over your nose, your very breath under my control?
Think how you feel slave, when you are against the wall, or your arse in the air and I am examining you, how you feel when I make you eat and drink from your bowl, my foot on your neck or your rope pinning you to the ground at my feet. Think how you feel when your crawl across the floor drooling and begging me to allow you to suck my cock, or be allowed to cum. And think how you feel when I say no, how you have pleaded and begged me. How do you feel when I call you slut, toy, it, pain toy, slave? How does it feel when you are left on the floor and I step over you, or when I treat you as just another one of my things, one of my possessions?
When you sleep at night slave, next to me how do you feel? Is it different when you sleep at my feet, or when I make you sleep on the floor? Or when I wake you at night to please me , to suck my cock, or to play with yourself for my enjoyment?
Think my slave how these things make you feel.
When I tell you what you may or may not do, when I have you remain still or fear the consequences, when I bound you, the rope tightening as you move, the times the ropes holds you open exposing you, giving unrestricted access to your body and thus your soul.
And how my slave does it feel when you are spanked? My hand on your arse, or the crop, biting into you, stinging, think of the sound of my belt as I take it off and you know it will be used on your body and how you hold yourself still for me while I use it on you, on your arse, your body, your breasts. Think how your feel when you see my hand reach for the whip, think slave.
This slave, is your life, you are mine, and everything you have and do is mine to control, every pleasure , every pain, every breath..................my control slave.
I will talk tou you tomorrow slave, go to bed and No talking to anyone, I want my words to fill your head, don't speak, no tv no radio, no music tonight, go to sleep".
And I went to bed, my cunt dripping with longing, my head filled with his voice and my night filled with the images he had planted there, flashing images in my dreams that left me wanting him, needing those feeling he had talked about, needing to feel his control, needing that submissive feeling to wash over me, flow into my body, my heart, my soul, my being.
This morning he did not mention his phone call, did not refer to it, it was like it never happened. I began to wonder if I had imagined it, dreamt it, but I looked on my phone and he HAD called.
Now he is working..........................*sigh*
.
Friday, 17 June 2011
Then another list arrived: Pegs, ropes weights, vibrator, plug
Oh finally, I have sat down, stopped and have enough time to write. I know there has not been this much of a gap between posts since I started.
There is so much to say and I hope I have enough time to say it.
We have hardly talked in the last few days, in fact if I haven't been working I've been asleep pretty much, apart from one night, when he absolutely insisted that I talked to him.
So late in the night I switched on my computer and saw a list:
Control, pain, silence, obedience, submission, peace.
This was his list of thing he felt had been missing in my life this week.
Then another list arrived:
Pegs, ropes weights, vibrator, plug.
I got everything ready for him and waited by the computer and another email arrived:
Strip, rope, plug, nipple and clit pegs, kneel, wait
So I stripped and inserted the plug, put my rope around my neck, not tight, but there, so I was aware of it, I attached the pegs to my nipples and clit and knelt down and waited for him.
My email pinged and another one arrived, "Turn the camera on and put your face on the floor with your asre facing me and when you hear me ping turn around and open your cunt for me."
So I did as he said and knelt on the floor, my arse exposed, the plug filling my hole and waited to move position until he had finished looking at me.
Instead of a ping, my phone went and he called and told me to remove the plug and hold my arse open for inspection. Then he told me to replace it, turn around and show him my cunt so he could inspect it, to pull it open by the pegs attached to it. I waited there until he had finished the inspection, waited while he commented on how my cunt was wet.
I stood on instruction so he could see how the pegs were on my nipples, and he told me that I was to attach the weight to the pegs and stand and wait for him. The weights are two small silk bags that had held present from him. They get filled with coins,the number and weight of depending on what he wants. I filled the bags and stood.
I could feel the weight pulling down on my nipples, but by standing still I felt I could control how I dealt with the pulling and the pain.
After ten minutes he told me to do and get the thin rope from the cupboard where it is kept. I had to climb up onto the shelf and reach up, and then I had no control over the pain, or how I deat with it, because I couldn't. So it filled me as the weights pulled the pegs, and I knew that this was the moment the control became his again..
I was instructed to fold the rope in half and then tie it to the bags, pulling them together, but still allowing them to hang down and then each end was to be tied to a peg on my cunt, effectively joining my pegged nipples and cunt. My hands were shaking by the time I had finished, my eyes full of tears and my breath catching in my throat.
He then told me I could choose.
I could pull the pegs on my cunt apart and tie them with another rope to my legs, or I could get the vibrator and make myself cum, standing in front of the camera.
I have not cum for what seems like a lifetime, and yet I knew that it would hurt too, but not as much as the first option.
10...9...8....
I hate it when he counts.
7...6...5...
"Cum please Sir"
I had to walk to the bed and get the vibrator and push it deep into my cunt, turning it on to full.
"Fuck yourself hard slave, ram that vibe in, imagine its my cock fucking you, fucking you like the slave you are"
Standing before him, the rope pulling on my cunt and nipples I fucked myself with the vibrator, the orgasm building deep inside me, coming at me in waves, threatening to overwhelm me, flowing through me .
I begged.
"Please Sir, may your slave be allowed to cum ?"
"Who do you come for slave"
"Please Sir may your slave be allowed to cum for you Sir ?"
"Are you sure its not for you slave, for your pleasure, this is not about you today?"
And with that I got to the point of no return,but i knew even like that tied, in pain, exposed and fucking myself , I knew if he said stop I would.
"Stand up straight and cum slave"
As I stood up straight the rope pulled on my cunt and nipples and even through the pegs were tight I felt them slipping slowly and excruciatingly painfully off the end of my nipples, and pulling on my cunt at the same time. They pulled off my nipples as I came and fell downwards, the weights attached to the rope pulling on my cunt as the orgasm ripped through me. I cried out and sobbed as the mix of pain and pleasure filled me.
As it subsided, I stood before him, my legs shaking, chest heaving, nipples sore and swollen, the blood rushing in. The rope was swinging form my cunt.
"You are beautiful slave, I love to see you give me your pain, to give me your submission. I love your obidence.Good girl"
And from deep inside me came the peace, the feelings of submission washed over me. It filled me, took over me and took away the pain.
"Take the pegs of baby, lie on the bed.
Slave you are beautiful, your submission is ht e best gift you can ever give me".
And there I lay. I knew parts of me hurt, I knew that I had pain in me. I knew my holes were still filled, but as I lay on the bed and wrapped myself in my blanket, his voice filled me, my submission completed me.
I was his.
I am.
There is so much to say and I hope I have enough time to say it.
We have hardly talked in the last few days, in fact if I haven't been working I've been asleep pretty much, apart from one night, when he absolutely insisted that I talked to him.
So late in the night I switched on my computer and saw a list:
Control, pain, silence, obedience, submission, peace.
This was his list of thing he felt had been missing in my life this week.
Then another list arrived:
Pegs, ropes weights, vibrator, plug.
I got everything ready for him and waited by the computer and another email arrived:
Strip, rope, plug, nipple and clit pegs, kneel, wait
So I stripped and inserted the plug, put my rope around my neck, not tight, but there, so I was aware of it, I attached the pegs to my nipples and clit and knelt down and waited for him.
My email pinged and another one arrived, "Turn the camera on and put your face on the floor with your asre facing me and when you hear me ping turn around and open your cunt for me."
So I did as he said and knelt on the floor, my arse exposed, the plug filling my hole and waited to move position until he had finished looking at me.
Instead of a ping, my phone went and he called and told me to remove the plug and hold my arse open for inspection. Then he told me to replace it, turn around and show him my cunt so he could inspect it, to pull it open by the pegs attached to it. I waited there until he had finished the inspection, waited while he commented on how my cunt was wet.
I stood on instruction so he could see how the pegs were on my nipples, and he told me that I was to attach the weight to the pegs and stand and wait for him. The weights are two small silk bags that had held present from him. They get filled with coins,the number and weight of depending on what he wants. I filled the bags and stood.
I could feel the weight pulling down on my nipples, but by standing still I felt I could control how I dealt with the pulling and the pain.
After ten minutes he told me to do and get the thin rope from the cupboard where it is kept. I had to climb up onto the shelf and reach up, and then I had no control over the pain, or how I deat with it, because I couldn't. So it filled me as the weights pulled the pegs, and I knew that this was the moment the control became his again..
I was instructed to fold the rope in half and then tie it to the bags, pulling them together, but still allowing them to hang down and then each end was to be tied to a peg on my cunt, effectively joining my pegged nipples and cunt. My hands were shaking by the time I had finished, my eyes full of tears and my breath catching in my throat.
He then told me I could choose.
I could pull the pegs on my cunt apart and tie them with another rope to my legs, or I could get the vibrator and make myself cum, standing in front of the camera.
I have not cum for what seems like a lifetime, and yet I knew that it would hurt too, but not as much as the first option.
10...9...8....
I hate it when he counts.
7...6...5...
"Cum please Sir"
I had to walk to the bed and get the vibrator and push it deep into my cunt, turning it on to full.
"Fuck yourself hard slave, ram that vibe in, imagine its my cock fucking you, fucking you like the slave you are"
Standing before him, the rope pulling on my cunt and nipples I fucked myself with the vibrator, the orgasm building deep inside me, coming at me in waves, threatening to overwhelm me, flowing through me .
I begged.
"Please Sir, may your slave be allowed to cum ?"
"Who do you come for slave"
"Please Sir may your slave be allowed to cum for you Sir ?"
"Are you sure its not for you slave, for your pleasure, this is not about you today?"
And with that I got to the point of no return,but i knew even like that tied, in pain, exposed and fucking myself , I knew if he said stop I would.
"Stand up straight and cum slave"
As I stood up straight the rope pulled on my cunt and nipples and even through the pegs were tight I felt them slipping slowly and excruciatingly painfully off the end of my nipples, and pulling on my cunt at the same time. They pulled off my nipples as I came and fell downwards, the weights attached to the rope pulling on my cunt as the orgasm ripped through me. I cried out and sobbed as the mix of pain and pleasure filled me.
As it subsided, I stood before him, my legs shaking, chest heaving, nipples sore and swollen, the blood rushing in. The rope was swinging form my cunt.
"You are beautiful slave, I love to see you give me your pain, to give me your submission. I love your obidence.Good girl"
And from deep inside me came the peace, the feelings of submission washed over me. It filled me, took over me and took away the pain.
"Take the pegs of baby, lie on the bed.
Slave you are beautiful, your submission is ht e best gift you can ever give me".
And there I lay. I knew parts of me hurt, I knew that I had pain in me. I knew my holes were still filled, but as I lay on the bed and wrapped myself in my blanket, his voice filled me, my submission completed me.
I was his.
I am.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
A far away look
I have worked two 17 hour days in the five days, and I am worn out. He has been very considerate, and can see from my face how tired I am. Last night, I do not think my head had sunk into the pillow before I was asleep, and for once I slept most of the night, although about 4 am I did get woken by an ant biting my bum!
This morning I was allowed a lie in till 6.30, which was such a luxury, as he normally makes me wake at 5.15am. I was very grateful, but wanted to sleep more....but wasn't allowed.
We had a breif conversation before I went off to the gym and for a few hours at work. He told me that he has been very patient (he has), very understanding (he has) about my work commitments But he has needs, and so these needs have to be met, and they have to be met by me. And so very soon, we are to have a big long and painful play session.................for hi;, to please him, to give him some fun, for me to show him how much I miss him, how much I need his control, how much of a pain slut I am (he thinks I may have forgotten that I am his pain slut), for him to remind me where my place is, to feel humiliation, pain, to beg, and plead, to be reduced to just feelings, be be emptied of "self", to be his toy, for his use and pleasure, to have no thoughts of myself and my needs.
Not a long list then...sound like this might have to be a very long play session to get through all of this.
I saw his face when he was thinking about it, and it had one of those far away looks that they get when they are planning, a slightly cruel twist tot he lip and then and evil grin...holy crap....do you think if i tell him I am tired it will make any difference?
This morning I was allowed a lie in till 6.30, which was such a luxury, as he normally makes me wake at 5.15am. I was very grateful, but wanted to sleep more....but wasn't allowed.
We had a breif conversation before I went off to the gym and for a few hours at work. He told me that he has been very patient (he has), very understanding (he has) about my work commitments But he has needs, and so these needs have to be met, and they have to be met by me. And so very soon, we are to have a big long and painful play session.................for hi;, to please him, to give him some fun, for me to show him how much I miss him, how much I need his control, how much of a pain slut I am (he thinks I may have forgotten that I am his pain slut), for him to remind me where my place is, to feel humiliation, pain, to beg, and plead, to be reduced to just feelings, be be emptied of "self", to be his toy, for his use and pleasure, to have no thoughts of myself and my needs.
Not a long list then...sound like this might have to be a very long play session to get through all of this.
I saw his face when he was thinking about it, and it had one of those far away looks that they get when they are planning, a slightly cruel twist tot he lip and then and evil grin...holy crap....do you think if i tell him I am tired it will make any difference?
Monday, 14 March 2011
No place to hide
Yesterday he decided that I should go to the gym early in the morning and then when I had finished I was to go home and spend two hours in my room, I didn't have to do anything specific, just remain there. Then he arranged for me to be online at 6pm to talk to him, saying that he would be using me then.
I tried to stay in the gym as long as possible, but when I returned home , I did not want to go to my room for one minute, let alone 120..........but I did. It was not too bad, I did some paperwork, sorted out a few things, sorted my clothes a bit and before I knew it the time was up. I am not sure if I was meant to be thinking slavey things......but I didn't.
I escaped outside for a bit to get some sun and fresh (89% humidity, 34C...not so fresh) air and clear my head and then went back inside to wait for 6pm.
I was online just in time and he was waiting for me, we talked for a little while before he sent me back to my room.
He talked at me; telling me about his decisions, about why he had made them and that ....moan, sulk, fight back, whatever, there was no changing the facts ...........that I am his slave and will remain so until or when he decides otherwise, and as he has no plans to release me, leave me, sell me or anything else, I am there for good.
Now I know I should be reassured by this, but I still can't get him to see things from my point of view.
He told me to strip and put my rope on, once again round my neck tight enough to feel it, but not tight enough to stop me breathing, and then he sent me to the wall to think about how I could be a better slave.
I rolled my eyes.
I wasnt aware of it, but he saw it, and I was firmly told that if I did it again, or pulled a face he would punish me. I stood facing the wall for twenty seven minutes.
I don't like the wall, its boring.......my head is full of thoughts....I made lists, I recalled lyrics from songs, I re-ran conversations in my head, I went through plans for work, thought about an agenda for an upcoming meeting, I tried everything I could not to think about being a slave...............but when I finally ran out of things to keep my mind from going to where it should be, I started to think about it and I started to cry.
I am not sure why I was crying, But I cried and cried and cried...maybe it was a realisation of what a bitch I have been, what an bad excuse for a slave, maybe it was frustration, maybe it was boredom, maybe it was just sadness..........but Oh boy did I cry.
He called me back to him and had me kneel on the hard floor with then end of the rope under my knees. He had me get the plug and insert it and then four pegs, once on each nipple and one one for each cunt lip. And he talked to me as "the slave" and "it".
He had me put the hood on, the bag that has a draw string, that I have to pull closed and then he told me he would buzz me to cum and then buzz me to take off the hood.
I waited on my knees for the buzz, cut off from the world, cut off from him, the pegs squeezing and pinching, knowing that when I made myself cum, the pegs on my cunt would be pulled and flicked, and would tighten as my lips swelled, as too would the ones on my nipples.
I didn't want to cum, I just didn't want to. When the buzzer went I started to cry again, and tried to delay the cumming, but knew that I couldn't. I knew I had to do what he said..........and so I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't be able to cum, that the "off " button had been switched.......but of course it had not.........and so I came, on the floor, kneeling with the hood on, before my owner......doing as he had told me.
I waited for a long time for the next buzzer and when I took off the hood, I couldn't look up, I couldn't look at him, I was feeling shamed................I think by my behaviour, but also by the fact that my body had done what it is trained to do, to cum when I am told, even when I don't want to, don't feel like I can...........I still do.
He asked me what was wrong, and I didn't have the words to explain so I sat quietly and tried to just "be"..........and he left me in peace, not talking, just watching. And in my mind I wandered off to a beautiful beach in Australia that I have walked along, miles of emptiness, soft sand sunshine and clear clear water..............and breathtaking beauty in its simplicity and I felt calmer, happier.
He told me to take three of the pegs off, to tidy up the toys, and to leave my room for one hour and then come back. I chose to keep one on my cunt, as it seemed to hurt the least. So I left the room with the peg and the butt plug and watched the clock for an hour, having a normal conversation , and making coffee, knowing what was in and on me, reminding me of what I am.
When I returned to the computer, he wasn't there......................and by now the peg was very sore, I knelt waiting for him, but couldn't get comfortable, couldn't get my head round the pain, and I longed for him to return. For the first time in a long time, I longed for him. I am ashamed to say, I think mostly it was because I wanted him to remove the peg........
When he came back he told me he had fallen asleep and I began to panic a bit about what I would have done if he had not come back........would I have kept the peg on for hours, would I have taken it off, what would I do?
He asked me what was wrong and I told him the peg hurt and he said that I could remove it................that is the moment we dread, knowing that one type of pain will be replaced by another type, and although I wanted to get it off as fast as possible, I didn't want to take it off at all.....So I took a deep breath and released it, and the pain flowed like a searing flame inside me ......and I cried again.............
He then had me move the cam onto my cunt and hold it open for his inspection and he commented on how wet it was, how swollen and then he told me to play with my cunt..........and as I got close to cumming he had me stop............he did this four times, till I was fighting hard to control myself and then he let me cum,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and as I came I had to hold my cunt open for him to see, to watch.
He told me there was no place to hide, no place to go..............and that he knew that I was not thinking like I should.................this was just a reminder of who controls my body...............and that he is going to start all over again if needs be; from the very beginning and he will control my mind again too, and then things will be in place again, order will be restored and I will be happy.
He asked me how I felt and I told him "used", he told me I had not been used, I had given him pleasure.
I felt exposed..........I felt used and I cried .................................and as I cried he talked to me, in a low soft gentle voice............................. and I slept.
I tried to stay in the gym as long as possible, but when I returned home , I did not want to go to my room for one minute, let alone 120..........but I did. It was not too bad, I did some paperwork, sorted out a few things, sorted my clothes a bit and before I knew it the time was up. I am not sure if I was meant to be thinking slavey things......but I didn't.
I escaped outside for a bit to get some sun and fresh (89% humidity, 34C...not so fresh) air and clear my head and then went back inside to wait for 6pm.
I was online just in time and he was waiting for me, we talked for a little while before he sent me back to my room.
He talked at me; telling me about his decisions, about why he had made them and that ....moan, sulk, fight back, whatever, there was no changing the facts ...........that I am his slave and will remain so until or when he decides otherwise, and as he has no plans to release me, leave me, sell me or anything else, I am there for good.
Now I know I should be reassured by this, but I still can't get him to see things from my point of view.
He told me to strip and put my rope on, once again round my neck tight enough to feel it, but not tight enough to stop me breathing, and then he sent me to the wall to think about how I could be a better slave.
I rolled my eyes.
I wasnt aware of it, but he saw it, and I was firmly told that if I did it again, or pulled a face he would punish me. I stood facing the wall for twenty seven minutes.
I don't like the wall, its boring.......my head is full of thoughts....I made lists, I recalled lyrics from songs, I re-ran conversations in my head, I went through plans for work, thought about an agenda for an upcoming meeting, I tried everything I could not to think about being a slave...............but when I finally ran out of things to keep my mind from going to where it should be, I started to think about it and I started to cry.
I am not sure why I was crying, But I cried and cried and cried...maybe it was a realisation of what a bitch I have been, what an bad excuse for a slave, maybe it was frustration, maybe it was boredom, maybe it was just sadness..........but Oh boy did I cry.
He called me back to him and had me kneel on the hard floor with then end of the rope under my knees. He had me get the plug and insert it and then four pegs, once on each nipple and one one for each cunt lip. And he talked to me as "the slave" and "it".
He had me put the hood on, the bag that has a draw string, that I have to pull closed and then he told me he would buzz me to cum and then buzz me to take off the hood.
I waited on my knees for the buzz, cut off from the world, cut off from him, the pegs squeezing and pinching, knowing that when I made myself cum, the pegs on my cunt would be pulled and flicked, and would tighten as my lips swelled, as too would the ones on my nipples.
I didn't want to cum, I just didn't want to. When the buzzer went I started to cry again, and tried to delay the cumming, but knew that I couldn't. I knew I had to do what he said..........and so I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't be able to cum, that the "off " button had been switched.......but of course it had not.........and so I came, on the floor, kneeling with the hood on, before my owner......doing as he had told me.
I waited for a long time for the next buzzer and when I took off the hood, I couldn't look up, I couldn't look at him, I was feeling shamed................I think by my behaviour, but also by the fact that my body had done what it is trained to do, to cum when I am told, even when I don't want to, don't feel like I can...........I still do.
He asked me what was wrong, and I didn't have the words to explain so I sat quietly and tried to just "be"..........and he left me in peace, not talking, just watching. And in my mind I wandered off to a beautiful beach in Australia that I have walked along, miles of emptiness, soft sand sunshine and clear clear water..............and breathtaking beauty in its simplicity and I felt calmer, happier.
He told me to take three of the pegs off, to tidy up the toys, and to leave my room for one hour and then come back. I chose to keep one on my cunt, as it seemed to hurt the least. So I left the room with the peg and the butt plug and watched the clock for an hour, having a normal conversation , and making coffee, knowing what was in and on me, reminding me of what I am.
When I returned to the computer, he wasn't there......................and by now the peg was very sore, I knelt waiting for him, but couldn't get comfortable, couldn't get my head round the pain, and I longed for him to return. For the first time in a long time, I longed for him. I am ashamed to say, I think mostly it was because I wanted him to remove the peg........
When he came back he told me he had fallen asleep and I began to panic a bit about what I would have done if he had not come back........would I have kept the peg on for hours, would I have taken it off, what would I do?
He asked me what was wrong and I told him the peg hurt and he said that I could remove it................that is the moment we dread, knowing that one type of pain will be replaced by another type, and although I wanted to get it off as fast as possible, I didn't want to take it off at all.....So I took a deep breath and released it, and the pain flowed like a searing flame inside me ......and I cried again.............
He then had me move the cam onto my cunt and hold it open for his inspection and he commented on how wet it was, how swollen and then he told me to play with my cunt..........and as I got close to cumming he had me stop............he did this four times, till I was fighting hard to control myself and then he let me cum,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and as I came I had to hold my cunt open for him to see, to watch.
He told me there was no place to hide, no place to go..............and that he knew that I was not thinking like I should.................this was just a reminder of who controls my body...............and that he is going to start all over again if needs be; from the very beginning and he will control my mind again too, and then things will be in place again, order will be restored and I will be happy.
He asked me how I felt and I told him "used", he told me I had not been used, I had given him pleasure.
I felt exposed..........I felt used and I cried .................................and as I cried he talked to me, in a low soft gentle voice............................. and I slept.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
Nipple pain and the ouchy thing.
Last night we had some time together, uninterpreted, all work was put aside, everything was put aside and it was just the two of us.
I have been apprehensive, waiting for the reassertion of his dominance as he had be telling me will happen. Half of me has longed for it; to feel that control, to feel my submission, to feel once again, even for just a time the loss of control of being able to give it back to him. I have longed for that feeling of peace deep within me when I know that I have no will, that his will is mine, that I am his.
We talked for a long time, about nothing in particular, we didn't talk about how I have been feeling, we didn't talk about his health, and if i am honest I don't know what we talked about in any detail. I know he was kind and loving, I know we laughed and teased each other, but the details allude me.
The almost in the middle of a sentence he told he to fetch the vibrator and the Tens unit. I was by now wearing the rope that I sleep in.
This rope goes around my feet, tying them together, and then up my back, once round my neck and around my wrist. This is how I sleep at night, or how I have been sleeping until I went to visit him. Since I came back , he has not used this rope, I am not sure why, I have not asked him, and I didn't want it on. Maybe he knew that I was not happy to wear it and so decide not to force the issue, but last night I was wearing it.
He began by having me put one of the pad onto my nipple, stuck over the bar and the other on the very edge, but not touching my cunt, and he turned it onto the first setting.
I put the vibrator in my mouth, with my eyes shut and sucked it to get it wet. and then i had to run it over the outside of my cunt; keeping it away from my clit and I was not allowed to let it go in. The unit was on, and it was just there, I could feel it in the background, but it wasn't overwhelming, it wasn't painful...just there.
He watched me and told me that I was not allowed to cum, I cam very close a few times, but he was very quick to notice and tell me "NO, no cumming". He allowed me to put the vibrator in , forcing it deep inside my cunt.
"Fuck your cunt with that slave, and ........................cum".
And cum I did, a great big one earth shaking one, gasping for breath, shaking all over, and as it subsided and and began to come back to earth, he told me to turn it up from 1 to 4.
OH fuck, it hurt, it really did, and I whimpered and tried to escape it, I tried to get my head around it and he made me begin to use the vibrator again, this time on my clit.
The pain in my nipple made me gasp began to send my head away to some other place, I tried to get there, to stay there where I wouldn't have to deal with it, but every time I began to fall over the edge into that dark place of subspace, he called me, dragged me back to him.
I wanted to let it wash over me, to fill me, I wanted to be wrapped in the nothingness and the everythingness of it, I wanted to float off............but he didn't let me.
And he kept me like that, on the edge of orgasm and the edge of subspace for what seemed like a life time till I was begging him to be allowed to cum, pleading with him, begging him to stop the pain in my nipple, crying..........but he talked to me, talked about control, about how he owns me, how he owns my:
life
body
soul
heart
He talked about what I was, what he can do to me, how I am his and I became quiet......I said nothing, I lay there, the rope tight around my neck and with every movement of my hands making it pull, for just a second, tighter, the pain in my nipple seemed constant now and the vibrator filling me with an overwhelming need to cum.
"If you cum, there is a price....................turn it to full...................and cum".
I remember the pain filling me, coursing through my body from my nipple to the top of my head to the tip of my toes and as I came the pain seemed to fill my cunt, as I came over and over again, calling him, calling his name, sobbing.
I heard him tell me to turn off the pain thing, and finally he let me float off to that place where it is everything and nothing.............where I feel everything and I feel nothing at all, where my head is empty of thoughts and full of feelings, and where I wanted to stay.
I heard him tell me to wrap myself up, and I know I did, because when I woke up, I was covered up and I heard him say "You are back".
And he talked again of control and of what I am, and he sent me to get something to eat and then to sleep.
And I slept all night, uninterrupted; there were no dreams, not waking, nothing .......just sleep.........and I woke up and he was there; waiting for me.
I have been apprehensive, waiting for the reassertion of his dominance as he had be telling me will happen. Half of me has longed for it; to feel that control, to feel my submission, to feel once again, even for just a time the loss of control of being able to give it back to him. I have longed for that feeling of peace deep within me when I know that I have no will, that his will is mine, that I am his.
We talked for a long time, about nothing in particular, we didn't talk about how I have been feeling, we didn't talk about his health, and if i am honest I don't know what we talked about in any detail. I know he was kind and loving, I know we laughed and teased each other, but the details allude me.
The almost in the middle of a sentence he told he to fetch the vibrator and the Tens unit. I was by now wearing the rope that I sleep in.
This rope goes around my feet, tying them together, and then up my back, once round my neck and around my wrist. This is how I sleep at night, or how I have been sleeping until I went to visit him. Since I came back , he has not used this rope, I am not sure why, I have not asked him, and I didn't want it on. Maybe he knew that I was not happy to wear it and so decide not to force the issue, but last night I was wearing it.
He began by having me put one of the pad onto my nipple, stuck over the bar and the other on the very edge, but not touching my cunt, and he turned it onto the first setting.
I put the vibrator in my mouth, with my eyes shut and sucked it to get it wet. and then i had to run it over the outside of my cunt; keeping it away from my clit and I was not allowed to let it go in. The unit was on, and it was just there, I could feel it in the background, but it wasn't overwhelming, it wasn't painful...just there.
He watched me and told me that I was not allowed to cum, I cam very close a few times, but he was very quick to notice and tell me "NO, no cumming". He allowed me to put the vibrator in , forcing it deep inside my cunt.
"Fuck your cunt with that slave, and ........................cum".
And cum I did, a great big one earth shaking one, gasping for breath, shaking all over, and as it subsided and and began to come back to earth, he told me to turn it up from 1 to 4.
OH fuck, it hurt, it really did, and I whimpered and tried to escape it, I tried to get my head around it and he made me begin to use the vibrator again, this time on my clit.
The pain in my nipple made me gasp began to send my head away to some other place, I tried to get there, to stay there where I wouldn't have to deal with it, but every time I began to fall over the edge into that dark place of subspace, he called me, dragged me back to him.
I wanted to let it wash over me, to fill me, I wanted to be wrapped in the nothingness and the everythingness of it, I wanted to float off............but he didn't let me.
And he kept me like that, on the edge of orgasm and the edge of subspace for what seemed like a life time till I was begging him to be allowed to cum, pleading with him, begging him to stop the pain in my nipple, crying..........but he talked to me, talked about control, about how he owns me, how he owns my:
life
body
soul
heart
He talked about what I was, what he can do to me, how I am his and I became quiet......I said nothing, I lay there, the rope tight around my neck and with every movement of my hands making it pull, for just a second, tighter, the pain in my nipple seemed constant now and the vibrator filling me with an overwhelming need to cum.
"If you cum, there is a price....................turn it to full...................and cum".
I remember the pain filling me, coursing through my body from my nipple to the top of my head to the tip of my toes and as I came the pain seemed to fill my cunt, as I came over and over again, calling him, calling his name, sobbing.
I heard him tell me to turn off the pain thing, and finally he let me float off to that place where it is everything and nothing.............where I feel everything and I feel nothing at all, where my head is empty of thoughts and full of feelings, and where I wanted to stay.
I heard him tell me to wrap myself up, and I know I did, because when I woke up, I was covered up and I heard him say "You are back".
And he talked again of control and of what I am, and he sent me to get something to eat and then to sleep.
And I slept all night, uninterrupted; there were no dreams, not waking, nothing .......just sleep.........and I woke up and he was there; waiting for me.
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