Going to bed with Eddie Izzard

He, my owner, not Eddie Izzard, is busy. He is working on some big new thing, so he is busy. He is trying to get it all finished  before I come home.

So he is busy.

He wants to, and will, find time for me and his evil plan of mastery of all he surveys, which here in "far away land" is me, oh and sometimes the little black cat, which I am sure has absolutely no interest in playing any of his games.

Howver, in the meantime I am to be left alone tonight.

So tonight I sleep with Eddie Izzard.

I will fall asleep with a smile on my lips, and HE will not have put it there, Eddie will have.

That will teach him for leaving me alone!

Second Payment

I wondered what the next installment would be. I was tired, half asleep, grumpy and did I say tired?

"What was the best bit of your day slave?"

I thought for a moment, hmmmmmmmmm...it was lunch with a friend........such delicious food and good company.
"Lunch Sir"
He had me describe the restaurant, which is a nondescript little place with wooden benches and a wonky picture on the wall, a slightly, well quite a bit grimy decor and no aircon.
He asked me what we had eaten..and as I remembered I was smiling about when my friend unexpectedly bit a hot chilli, and he interrupted me.............
"OK slave, that's enough, that's what I was waiting for...a smile"
'Go to sleep my good girl, sleep well.I love you"
and this time I curled up in my bed and was asleep in minutes.

Whats in a word?

It is strange how words can make you think.

The use of words can, in an instant, change your mood, change the way you see something, can change your opinion of someone or of something. A careless word can cause irriparable damage, or unmeasureable happiness, angry words filled with hate, bitterness and feeling of betrayal can wound and damage.

The first word of a beloved child, the last remembered converation with a loved one who has sadly died, the joke that makes you chuckle everythime you recall it, the whispered words of love shared in the most intimate of moments, words of passion, mixed with sweat, heat and lust, words that change our lives, words of employment, of proposal, legal words..........words.........

Millions and millions of words that we speak and hear in our life times.............. some careless thrown out without any thought of their real meaning or how they will be recieved, of the impact they have on others. And those words rehearesed over and over in our heads as we lay awake in the angst filled hours of the night, trying to finalaise what we want to say, to make our meaning clear.........

Today I heard some words......innocent words, words spoken by a child.......she said to me"I love you", out of the blue, with nothing preceding it, she just said it. When I smiled at her and bent to give her a hug she asked "You want to know why?" and in the nano second before I replied, I had thoughts of how I had treated her, how I had responded to her, reassured her, how I had spoken to her...so I nooded  and her reply ........"Because I can"...................

Simple.

Nothing complictaed...just becasue she could, because her heart is filled with love and she has some to spare and she was giving it to me.....just words, but with a powerful meaning behind them. My heart was filled with such lightness and happiness from those simple words..."Because I can".

I thought about how we sometimes complicate the simplest of things and how we simplify the the most complex. How we close ourselevs off in the mistaken belief that we are protecting our hearts, and I will admit to this; frequently and almost always unsuccessfully, how we doubt things and people, question what needent be questioned and how we forget the feeling of "Because I can".

The second lot of words I heard today had a completly differnt affect on me.

When my owner said goodbye to me this morning he signed off with "Be good", I replied "Of course Sir" and quick as a flash came back,  "good slave". Normally it is "Good girl", but today was differnt, and just a change in words, completely changed my mindset. I felt all mushy inside; my cunt clenched and I felt increadiblly submmissive, but equally it also made me smile. It was like a metaphorical pat on the head, like something you would absentminedly say to your dog if you were sitting watching telelvision and it didnt get up and chase a passing cat. Thats what I thought of, and I told him......"I feel like a well behaved dog". He called, but couldn't speak becasue he was laughing so much.

He sent me....."Good girl, go to work".

Both conversations made me very happy. Nothing complicated about either of them, no hidden agenda, no subtle meanings, not room for misunderstanding, just words ...just eight words.... and now twelve hours later I am still smiling...

This was control

Very slowly I wound the rope under my tits, and pulled, and kept pulling till he said stop. I tied them as he has shown me a hundred time, following his spoken instruction. I hadn't finished the last knot and already I could feel the pain...

Four pegs were already on me; One on each lip; two to remind me that I am allowed to speak when he chooses and two to remind me that every part of me is his. Ten more pegs, this time five on each engorged tit, the skin compressed between their biting edges, slipping, then gripping their vice like edges into the tender white skin. I waited for the next number, but it didn't come.

The rope cam next,round my neck, not tight, but just enough for me to feel it, like his hands that I miss, the touch of his skin, the squeeze on my throat......not tight......but just enough to remind me.

He talked about what was missing, what was wrong. what I am.

 I am a slave

 I have no limits

"No" is not a word in my vocabulary.

He made it clear I was not being punished, I had not done anything wrong. He had been  watching me closely, listening to me and could see and hear I missed his control and this was just a gentle(!) reminder.

And so I stood facing the wall..... trying to think about what I am, who I belong to, what he can do. and I did not move.

My head was flying around the place, list of things to do, jobs outstanding, places to be, dates to arrange...and slowly one by one the noise in my head subsided, it was quieter and I began to focus on him.

I was thirty minutes, it felt like five, but it was thirty.

"Come back to me" he said...I jumped and stood before him.

"Kneel, open your legs and put the toy in, then close them tight"

the pegs began to bite into my, hurting, a hot burning pain,making me whimper. I could hear it bouncing back on the satellite connection, and I felt ashamed. not a lot, but hearing my self, I could feel the blush creeping over my face.

He chuckled..."you can hear it , cant you?"

"yes Sir, I can"

"Make yourself cum'

 The pain ratcheted up in an instant, the pegs caught between my legs, one of them twisted around, each touch on my finger on myself brought more pain. Self inflicted ,unavoidable pain.

And despite myself I could feel the wetness, the need growing. My breath coming in short gasps, sweat beginning to form on my face,the ropes biting into my tits, my whole body beginning to shake with  a mixture of pain and pleasure, of longing and  of need........

.........and as I open my mouth to beg to be allowed to cum............

"STOP"

.

I knelt still, my hair damp with sweat, my eyes filled with tears of frustration and discomfort.

I  was given a choice....hit the pegs off with the cane he gave me, or jump up and down till they came off....so I chose the second option, thinking that the chances of me missing and hitting my nipples was greater than the pegs staying on too long.

I didn't look, I heard them fall off as I jumped, over and over again, first one, then 2,3 and 4...until all but 2 were left. I thought i would be there all night , jumping, without them moving. I had to pull them off and for once it was a relief.

"Get the hood"

I hate the hood, I hate the feeling of isolation, I hate it. It  is hot and stuffy and I think I cant breath,I hate not seeing anything, I hate it.

The pegs still on my lips, I put the hood on and lay face down on the floor, with my hands behind my back and my legs crossed and I tried to be calm. I tried to breath. I could hear his voice talking to me, telling me all I have to think about is him, nothing else, no one else.

He is my focus.

My bound tits felt like they would explode, the bars in my nipples would burst, splitting me open. they felt hot and sore and I couldn't think. I concentrated on his voice......

Slowly my head emptied, the noise subsided............quieter and quieter...until it was silent, and my mind filled with thoughts of him; of satisfying him, pleasing him, making him happy, and I relaxed, I felt no pain, no heat, nothing.

When he called my name...............it took a while to bring myself back, to get up and crawl back to him, to kneel before the camera, waiting to remove the hood.

He allowed me to take it off....................

"Oh that's better" he said, "you are smiling again".

And I was.

Off floating away, in my own place, the one I find, the one that finds me ...........and very gently he pulled me back, slowly talking to me, making me get ready for sleep, making me remove the last 4 pegs and ropes, checking me, gently talking to me, telling me how happy he was, how please he was. Telling me I was good.

I was cold. He allowed me my soft blanket, and as I wrapped myself up in in, feeling its softness sooth my sore skin his voice, his words, continued to sooth my heart,my soul.

I tied my nighttime rope to my feet and then hands and curled up and as I drifted off to sleep the sound of his voice in my ears with gentle words, my heart with happiness.

and I slept with a smile on my face.

I