My aching heart

This morning we were talking, about Christmas  and all things cold, about dresses that he likes me to wear, about when he took me to a casino and left me there playing on a machine and how there were several men wanting to talk to me, and how polite I was to them, flirting yet behaving.
He talked about how he watched me proudly, and enjoyed watching me because he knew I was his and would be going home with him.. How all he had to do was catch my eye and I would walk to his side.

He was saying nice things to me, kind, loving things.

He told me to lie down and put the cam on my face, so he could watch me as I made my self cum. He asked me to remember the last time we were together and touch myself like he touched me.

And I couldn't.

I just couldn't do it.

The tears started.
I wiped them away with the back of my hand, hoping he hadn't seen.

I tried again, thinking about how he had laid me on the bed and instructed me to open myself  for his inspection.

And the tears returned.

I just couldn't stop them.
It wasn't that I didn't want to do what he said, I was just so overwhelmingly sad. I miss him so much.
I couldn't bear it.

I turned away from him.

He called my name, asked what was wrong.

I couldn't say.

I had no words to explain how desolate I felt at that moment, and so I just looked at him, it was all I could do.

"Oh my slave. it is not for ever, you jut have to be brave. You are mine now and forever".
He talked..................And it felt like he had lifted my heart and wrapped his hands gently round it, caressing it, soothing my aching soul.

And he spoke loving kind words to me. I do not know what they were, but the thousands of miles drifted closer and closer until I felt we were as one.
And I fell asleep, as if I were in his arms.
My heart still aches for him.............

Crying

I don't know what is wrong. I really don't.

This morning I woke up, as I always do, and he was there waiting to talk to me. 

We talked about the night before when I had gone out and had come back and we had missed the time that had been set aside, and how he understood, we talked about me being sent to bed. 

We talked about why I couldn't sleep in the night and why once again he had resorted to me getting the rope and having my feet and hands bound.

We talked about my day ahead, and what I had to do. How he wanted me home straight from work, that I was to rest.

I showered, as I do for him every morning, so he can examine me, check that is property is in the sate he likes it; clean shaven. He likes to watch it happen, to make sure its done as he likes it, that my skin is creamed, that I am ready to dress in the clothes he has chosen.

And then.....................I had to cum for him, to stand against the wall and make myself cum (this time on 2 legs!). This is a normal part of my day, happening often. Nothing new.

I was overcome with feelings of sadness.

I sobbed and sobbed...and then I sobbed some more.

He stopped me and called me back to him, and I sobbed.

I couldn't tell him what was wrong....because I don't know

I remember saying sorry through the sobs, for not doing as I had been told. He reassured me it didn't matter, that it was ok. 

He wanted to know what was wrong and I couldn't tell him. He reassured me I would be ok.

Now I am waiting for him to talk to me.