Open and vulnerable

The morning, he appeared online, just out of the blue, I wasn't expecting him and I was half asleep, having been kept up most of the night by a huge tropical storm.

"Get your toy slave, the big one".

I was not feeling needy or sexy or excited or even particularly obedient, but I huffed my way to the bag and got the toy.

"Open you legs slave and show me your cunt"
So, I did as I was told, and showed him my cunt.

"Put the toy in slave and fuck yourself"
So I put the toy in and fucked myself.

"Cum for me slave".
So I came for him.

And then the connection got cut...............and I was left there, exposed, open , vulnerable, used and alone.
And I waited there for him to come back, and I waited and waited, not knowing what to do, not knowing.......

And he came back............................ finally....................and I was a mess.

I couldn't tell him what was wrong, I just didn't know what to say. I knew he would come back, but I didn't know when.

That's what I hate about being " far far away".

I wonder if I click my heals together...."There's no place like home, theres no place like home".

Nope.................................... not working.
Oh well

A far away look

I have worked two 17 hour days in the five days, and I am worn out. He has been very considerate, and can see from my face how tired I am. Last night, I do not think my head had sunk into the pillow before I was asleep, and for once I slept most of the night, although about 4 am I did get woken by an ant biting my bum!

This morning I was allowed a lie in till 6.30, which was such a luxury, as he normally makes me wake at 5.15am. I was very grateful, but wanted to sleep more....but wasn't allowed.

We had a breif conversation before I went off to the gym and for a few hours at work. He told me that he has been very patient (he has), very understanding (he has) about my work commitments But he has needs, and so these needs have to be met, and they have to be met by me. And so very soon, we are to have a  big long and painful play session.................for hi;, to please him, to give him some fun, for me to show him how much I miss him, how much I need his control, how much of a pain slut I am (he thinks I may have forgotten that I am his pain slut), for him to remind me where my place is, to feel humiliation, pain, to beg, and plead, to be reduced to just feelings, be be emptied of "self", to be his toy, for his use and pleasure, to have no thoughts of myself and my needs.

Not a long list then...sound like this might have to be a very long play session to get through all of this.
I saw his face when he was thinking about it, and it had one of those far away looks that they get when they are planning, a slightly cruel twist tot he lip and then and evil grin...holy crap....do you think if i tell him I am tired it will make any difference?

"Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at".

This morning I think he had his silly head on. Either that or there was nothing worth watching on the TV.I think the thought in his head was "What's the point of having a toy if you don't play with it?" He watches me when I sleep, and last night he knew, that as is so often the case, I was beset by weird and disturbing dreams. Nothing specifically scary,nothing conventionally scary, no monster, no ghosts or machete wielding madmen, just weird enough to keep me balanced on the edge of sleep, tossing and turning, moaning and crying out. Travelling round my big bed, till I woke up on the edge, just before I fell.

He allowed me to pee and then told me I had to sleep again.............and although I tried, I really did, it just would not come, and so for the next 60 minutes I lay with eyes closed, fidgeting until he allowed me to get up.

I could almost feel the change of tone, the change of mode as we continued to talk.....we had a spare half an hour......and so to pass the time.............he had me stand on one foot.................why is it so much easier when no one is watching....why does it become impossible when you are told "Don't move", and why does it become funny when you have to cum standing on one leg, not moving?

He chuckled.

Then he told me to kneel without putting my knees on the floor...took me a while to work out that meant squat.............................and then cum....................oh he laughed when I fell over as I was cumming It was not so much a fall , as a spectacular upending of his slave, onto her arse, with legs in the air and a silly look on her face as she did a beetle impression.

He laughed.

Then it was  "pull your nipples out by the bars, close your eyes, turn around 4 time"s ......and I failed. I wasn't facing in exactly the right direction,,,I was about 20 degrees off...hell I though I had done well....

I failed.

He laughed.

I started again....but this time I had to hop...................

Amazingly I was facing in the right direction...........

We both laughed.

And then I had to cum again........amazingly...this time I was lying down...and we laughed.I wanted to go back to sleep...no chance.

Who says being a slave is not fun?