A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

Please leave this blog if you are under 18 or easily offended.

Monday 21 November 2011

Do I pick up the cards?

Having promised my 'friend' that I would get back to him at sometime I sent him an email. He is my blast from the past.  I told him a few more details of what had happened and how I was feeling, how things were and a few of my plans for the future (which involved a big long list of place to visit this year: Laos, Myamar and Australia).

I told him I would be returning to the UK at some point too this year and I asked how he was. And that was it.

I got an email back pretty much straight away. He asked how I was feeling, how I was coping, how I was behaving  (which made me smile) and then there was the big question tacked onto the end of the email......

"So my little lost subby friend...how are you managing without control in your life?"

I was just about to reply and say I was fine without it, that I was having a rest from it, that I didn't need it, that I didn't want it, and then I paused and had a small think to myself and wondered if this was entirely true....and as i was thinking another email arrived and all it said was....

"Hmmmmm, thought so"

I laughed.

He then sent a longer email to me, offering to take on a "mentoring role", a role of keeping me safe until such time as I make up my mind about anything else. He has offered to talk to me, at length about what  I think I might need to keep me sane, on the straight and narrow (relatively speaking) and to set a level of control.

I know he is married, I know he is far away, I know that  he is offering what he is offering; no more , no less. I know all the facts, as much as I can.

 He has laid his cards on the table.

Do I pick them up?

He asked me to think about what he has said, what he has offered and to email him in a week as to my decision , to indicate if this is something I want.

So....is my hand hovering above those cards or is it over my mouth stopping the "OMG, what do I do now from coming out" ?

Well its a bit of both.

9 comments:

  1. What feels right to you? It doesn't sound like he is asking you to commit forever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd be mighty tempted by his offer. Good luck deciding.. it truly doesn't sound like a forever thing if you said yes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I believe sometimes we need to take help from people when it is offered and we are in need of it. Sin is right...do it if it feels right for you.
    Hugs :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Finding your wise mind decision - that's what matters... sending you warm thoughts....

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
  5. A good mentor is priceless. Perhaps a chance to learn more while healing?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hs yes go for it, i have been where you are and believe me a good Mentor is priceless as Mistress160 says. I dont know where i would have been without my Mentor. You know he has only your best interest at heart and i feel will help you heal.

    But you know what will be best for you HS

    blossom xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. sin,nancy,SBF, aisha, Mistress160 and blossom.
    Thank you all for taking the time to think and comment I have spent the last week thinking , and my hand hand has stopped hovering and the cards are in my hand.
    :)
    HSxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. 免費影音視訊聊聊天室-允許賣肉的直播平台
    影音視訊聊聊天室-成人的直播平台
    ut影音視訊聊聊天室-午夜聊天室
    小可愛免費視訊-一對一性聊天室
    視訊美女聊天-美女秀場裸聊直播間
    聊天交友-美女視頻直播秀房間
    交友app-台灣免費視頻裸聊室
    交友網站-在線視頻語音聊天室
    網路聊天交友-免費同城交友聊天室
    網路交友聊天-美女秀聊天室破解版
    寂寞聊天群酷我秀場美女主播_視頻聊天室韓國輕色系電影境外成人網站網址jp 日本視訊網
    美女性感聊天室網站色聊天室網站真人解開美女胸衣視頻華人第一成人社區日本櫻花視訊
    寂寞交友吧愛聊北京交友貼吧夜色約炮網免費視訊影音聊天室上海1夜情社區日本視訊美女
    一夜情網同城交友視頻跳舞的女人真人美女視頻聊天室成人一級片快播下載免費日本視訊
    寂寞同城交友俱樂部ONS交友俱樂部qq群六間房語音聊天室白領美女生活真實照日本視訊帳號

    ReplyDelete