A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Friday, 11 November 2011

No title required

A long time ago, a very long time ago I went out with a soldier. I was 17 , he was 22. he was young, I was younger...we had fun...we had lots of fun. He was tall, and handsome, oh how he was handsome, with eyes so blue they hurt to look at.

We lived a life of dates, alcoholic nights, moody music, manic grasping at life, trying to live every moment, to make each meaningful...it was not a long relationship, it was not love. Mostly it was lust and fun, and sex, and music, late nights and dancing.

But what makes me think about it today, like I do, every year, on this and one other day, always, without fail?

Is because he was one of those, those that we remember..."lest we forget"...not killed in a popular war, not a "just war' not open warfare, but a war none the less.

A war of attrition, a war of religion, politics, of beliefs, of terror.

A war of sonless mothers, fatherless children, a war of pain and loneliness, a pointless war, a war where both sides lost.

So on this day I remember, I remember for these reasons.

I remember because it was so pointless, so wasteful, the loss, his death, the space he left behind.

I remember because  as a grown woman, a mother,  a human, I mourn his lost potential, his future.

I remember because we should never forget.

As a teenager, we move on quickly, we leave behind our pain, I lived that life then, its all and nothing, black and white,right and wrong. Its how it should be when you are young. these things should not blight your life , your future, they should make you more compassionate, a better person for having lived through it, but they should not dictate the your future, they should be part of your past.

 I say this, to remind  myself really, I was not callous in my loss and short grief, I was young...but I do not forget.......R


  1. A beautiful post.. and thank you for sharing. So much life lost and still the count gets higher.

  2. Thanks for sharing this story.


  3. This brought tears to my eyes. So moving, so tragic.

  4. saffy......it is the rising count that upsets me the most

    aisha,,,,without sounding heartless, it was a long time ago, I remember him with a smile. When we are young we move on so quickly.

    Holly S....:)

    I told this part of my life to show how pointless all the loss is.and how it continuation makes us all so very sad.

  5. so sad, thank you for sharing the story

  6. Thanks HS for sharing some of your memories with us.

    blossom xx

  7. sin...you know what, it was sad, I was sad, everyone was sad,but it was the life I was in, the life i had grown in, it was part of the risk, for them part of the price, and i guess for some part of the buzz. When you are young you think you are invincible, that you will live forever.....NowI just smile at the happy memories