A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Friday 11 November 2011

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A long time ago, a very long time ago I went out with a soldier. I was 17 , he was 22. he was young, I was younger...we had fun...we had lots of fun. He was tall, and handsome, oh how he was handsome, with eyes so blue they hurt to look at.

We lived a life of dates, alcoholic nights, moody music, manic grasping at life, trying to live every moment, to make each meaningful...it was not a long relationship, it was not love. Mostly it was lust and fun, and sex, and music, late nights and dancing.

But what makes me think about it today, like I do, every year, on this and one other day, always, without fail?

Is because he was one of those, those that we remember..."lest we forget"...not killed in a popular war, not a "just war' not open warfare, but a war none the less.

A war of attrition, a war of religion, politics, of beliefs, of terror.

A war of sonless mothers, fatherless children, a war of pain and loneliness, a pointless war, a war where both sides lost.

So on this day I remember, I remember for these reasons.


I remember because it was so pointless, so wasteful, the loss, his death, the space he left behind.

I remember because  as a grown woman, a mother,  a human, I mourn his lost potential, his future.

I remember because we should never forget.



As a teenager, we move on quickly, we leave behind our pain, I lived that life then, its all and nothing, black and white,right and wrong. Its how it should be when you are young. these things should not blight your life , your future, they should make you more compassionate, a better person for having lived through it, but they should not dictate the your future, they should be part of your past.

 I say this, to remind  myself really, I was not callous in my loss and short grief, I was young...but I do not forget.......R

8 comments:

  1. A beautiful post.. and thank you for sharing. So much life lost and still the count gets higher.
    hugs
    saffy

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  2. Thanks for sharing this story.

    aisha

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  3. This brought tears to my eyes. So moving, so tragic.

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  4. saffy......it is the rising count that upsets me the most

    aisha,,,,without sounding heartless, it was a long time ago, I remember him with a smile. When we are young we move on so quickly.

    Holly S....:)

    I told this part of my life to show how pointless all the loss is.and how it continuation makes us all so very sad.

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  5. so sad, thank you for sharing the story

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  6. Thanks HS for sharing some of your memories with us.

    blossom xx

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  7. sin...you know what, it was sad, I was sad, everyone was sad,but it was the life I was in, the life i had grown in, it was part of the risk, for them part of the price, and i guess for some part of the buzz. When you are young you think you are invincible, that you will live forever.....NowI just smile at the happy memories
    HSxx

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