There is a feeling deep inside me....a longing...an emptiness.....I miss him so much.
I feel like I am riding a roller coaster of emotions, highs and lows...moments of such closeness that dispel the miles between us in a heartbeat and a great yawning chasm of distance, both physical and emotional.
After the other night I have come to think that maybe its because after such intensity I am not getting what I need, the physical comfort, the closeness and his arms around me.
He tells me he doesn't always see what I need, he can't always work it out, and that I should ask him for what I need......but how do you ask for something when you are not sure what it is? Or how do you ask for something you know you can't have...and is there any point? If I ask for something I know I can't have, will it make it any better? Will it make me feel worse and how will it make him feel that he cannot give me what I need?
Why is my head so full of questions?
On a happier note the Little Black Cat is running around and looking a lot better,:)
Those are only questions you can answer. I have a post on my profile telling married men to stay away. While the play is fulfilling, at the end of the day, I'm still alone, and it only makes me feel more so. You can not have a steak dinner and be satisfied. There is always the need for hunger again another day. I don't wish to continue to paddle the boat alone. I have to stay committed to finding what I need all the time - someone to be a component of my life, not for me to be a compartment of theirs. I think your situation is temporary, but if you feel as if it is not, be true to you.
ReplyDeleteI would miss the physical presence, the touch, dreadfully. You raise difficult questions - in theory, I believe it's better to ask, that there's some positive aspect just in the naming of what you want.
ReplyDeleteBut i preach that a lot better than I practice it, so feel free to ignore me, right?
Glad the cat's doing well!
hugs,
aisha
PS my word verification was dearmen. I think that's an answer... :)
awe hs everyone goes through times like this and they can be hard especially in long distance relationships, and they are questions that will be hard to answer especially when your feeling so low at the moment. It is difficult to ask for something knowing you may not get what you want but at least you are making him aware of your needs even though he wont always have the answer you want to hear.
ReplyDeleteAwe you have got a lil pussy!!!...lol
Hugs
blossom xxx
Extra hugs to you while you are feeling this way, :)
ReplyDeleteanonymous.....thank you for your comment. It is always good to know what you want , to be able to express it and ensure that your life is not complicated by things that you dont.
ReplyDeleteHSxx
aisha, of course you are right, there is always something good about being able to voice your needs, it gives them substance, validity and it empowers you...still doesn't make it easy to do:)
ReplyDeleteI loved the "dearman".
HSxx
blossom, you too are right about telling him what I need, but its so difficult to know that he can't give it to me, just as I can't give him what I want to and what I know he want:)....but patience is a virtue!
ReplyDeleteHSxx
submissivebf...Im always up for extra hugs, thank you:)
ReplyDeleteHSxx