A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Sunday, 1 May 2011

Paying my dues

He text me yesterday afternoon and told me to get online. When I was online, he told me I was to go to bed and set my alarm for 11.30pm and he would talk to me then.

And so I went to bed, trying hard to sleep is not the best way to be relaxed, I wondered what would happen if I pretended not to wake up....just out of curiosity you understand...but I didn't. I woke up five minutes before the 11.30 aalrm...how is that for good slave training?

He waited until 11.30 and then spoke to me.
He told him that nothing in a slaves life is for free, that nothing that is pleasurable is an expectation and that although he had given me  A "me day", I was now back on "his time" and as such I would be paying for my free time.

He asked me how long my massage had been, and when I told him one hour, I knew immediately i would be doing something for an hour...thast the way he is.

He had me fetch all of his weapons of torture or "toys" as he calls them and then  as I laid them out on the bed, he had me close my eyes and stand up and point to the toys and when he said stop that what he was going to use..........it ended on...........the red rope, the pegs and the vibrator(did I peek...? no!)

He had me knee in front of him and tie the rope as tight as I could to form a rope bra, I'm better at this than him and it drives him crazy, so he made me do it with my eyes closed.............but it wasn't tight enough for him so I had to redo it...and then, holy crap, it was tight.

He chose three pegs and I had to put one on each cunt lip and one on my tongue.
The bowl was placed on the floor by my knees and he had me look at it again. I tried to distance myself from it, to try to disappear it from my sight and mind. I had just about managed it when he told me I was to lie down, but the bowl was to be right in front of my face.
And so as I lowered myself onto the floor, leaning on my bound tits, which incidentally felt like on fire boulders, I placed the bowl in front of me. It filled my field of vision, well that and the stream of drool pooling on the floor.

I lay there, trying to feel my weight off my tits, but he told me to put my hands behind my back and move the bowl to the side and lay my head down on the floor. He then showed me the kitchen timer,,,,,,,,,set for one hour........sixty whole minutes.

The pegs on my cunt paled into insignificance within minutes, as the heat and pain from my tits filled my body, my head, my everything.

I tried counting, I tried tapping my fingers......but he told me to stay still.............I was not to move for the next fifty eight minutes................................

By fifteen minutes the pool of tears matched the pool of drool, by twenty five minutes I hated him with every fibre of my being................I am not sure what happened in the rest of the time. I do remember the vibrator driving me to distraction  and then the next thing I recall is him telling me to stand up.

He told me to remove the tongue peg and have a drink, and then he had me remove the cunt pegs.
He asked me if I remembered cumming,.............. and I didn't.
He snapped at me to move faster, to undo the rope and climb on the bed.

He told me I had paid for some of my treats and to go to sleep and he would call me later to talk to me.
I asked why he was cross with me, what I had done wrong and why he had snapped at me. He told me he wasn't cross, in fact he was very pleased, but I had been moving in slow motion and he wanted to make me focus on getting into bed.

He told me to go to sleep and he would watch over me, but the problem was that my head was empty, there was nothing in it, it felt really noisy in there, I am not sure why, but it felt empty, but full of noise. I couldn't sleep.

He told me off for peeping at him, for wriggling and in the end told me that if I moved I would have to tie myself down.

So I closed my eyes and tried really hard to sleep.

He woke me about three hours later, about four in the morning and told me it was time to pay some more of my debt to him.


  1. Dear HS,

    I don't know how you do it. So much devotion.



  2. I agree with Aisha, hugs to you.

  3. aisha and submissivebf...........coz I don't have a choice, well I do, but I don't , you know what I mean.
    There are times when I want to scream at him to f**k right off, leave me alone, go play somewhere else,when my mind is full of evil and wicked thoughts and hopes of a painful,long and slow death for him.
    There are times I want to poke him in the eye and laugh...not very vicious , I know, but.......but ...then he,,,oh you know the next bits .....