A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Sunday, 15 May 2011

"you are many things....but first and foremost you are my slave"

I am now a snot free zone. I would have written earlier, but here in "far away" blogger was unavailable, some of my comment have been wiped off and we had no connection for  a few day...but at last things seem to be working again.

Somehow "he" managed to find the right moment to get online, when it was working and decided that he had waited long enough for me to be well, that whilst he understood I was sick and wanted me to get better, more important things were stirring. He "has needs". ....and as it is my job to make sure that he is happy, and that is my main concern in life, in fact my very role...it was time for me to do my job and be pleasing and entertaining.


There was one comment I made, just one little sentence...all I did was mention in a slightly sarcastic tone that I had not been well..............................and all hell broke loose.

He was not happy with my tone

He was not happy with the contents of my remarks

He was not happy with my attitude

In fact

He was not happy fullstop.

My use of the words "I am not happy" imply that I am feeling a little down, or maybe upset, or worried or just a bit sad.
His use of the words "I am not happy" .......well that means something entirely different altogether.

It means..................there is something you have done slave, or said, or thought that has now changed how I am feeling. There is something that has happened that I do not like and I am going to change it back....SOMETHING WILL BE DONE.

It really was just one of those throw away remarks, flippant.....
He told me that speaking to him like that was not acceptable, that he had been concerned when I was sick, he had been thoughtful and caring and I didn't need to remind him I had been ill, he had spent several days watching me work my way through boxes of tissues etc.

He asked me if I was better........of course I was better....."Yes Sir thank you, I feel fine now".
"Come back in an hour" I was told, "and in that hour I want you to think about what has made me less than happy."

So an hour later I came back and knelt before him to explain.

"Strip slave, no talking.I don't want to hear a sound from you. Get the butt plug and vibrator".

I can only say I scampered off and got them , returning to my place on my knees , and with my rope around my neck I knelt, waiting.
"Butt plug first slave, then vibrator. Get a peg and put it on your tongue" then TENS unit pads went onto each nipple and was turned to sixty percent, then the rope was pulled tighter around my neck, so I could feel it, and looped over my shoulders and wrapped around my feet.

"Turn around slave, on your knees, arse in the air, face on the floor and use that vibrator, use it hard, ram in in and fuck yourself"

Within about fifteen seconds I was desperate to cum..............he was very clear it wasn't going to happen. I couldn't ask..............

My mind filled with nothing with the sensations of the vibrator and the plug, the pain from the TENS and the awareness of the rope on my heck and feet...............

"Cum for me slave"
I didn't need telling twice.... I did.

And as  he kept me there, with my head on the floor, the drool leaving one puddle and the juices from my cunt dripping down my legs I felt overwhelmed by his control.

"Get the hood"
I crawled to where I had left the hood.
"Put it on"
I put it on and stayed where I was.
Back where you belong slave"
I knelt before him
"On no slave that is not where you belong, that is where I let you be when I am happy. You belong over by the wall, on your knees with your face on the floor and your arse in the air."

And so feeling shamed, I crawled back there, remembering that I should never assume anything , I turned around and faced the wall, opened my legs , put my shoulders to the floor and felt my face press into the hood as I lay it on the hard wood.

"Now tell me what you thought about in your hour slave."

And so inside the hood, with the peg on my tongue , I mumbled and tried to speak, to explain I was sorry for the remark, that I know how much he cares about me, how he had worried I was sick, how he had looked after me as much as he could from far away, I tried to appologise for my rudeness, for making him "Less than happy".

When I had finished he left me there and told me to listen for his return.

Maybe ten minutes passed and I heard him, I heard the click of his camera shutter, the zoom of the lens, and his voice
"Get up slave, turn around and come to the camera,"

I crawled closer to the computer and following his instructions adjusted, I removed the hood.

And as I did he was taking photos, my face was  damp from sweat and drool, my hair too, my eyes wide , tear stained and the peg still on my tongue.

He allowed me to remove the peg and turn off the unit..................."You want a shower slave? "
I went to answer him...."Oh no slave, no talking, if you want to talk you will wear the peg" So I nodded.

"Go have your shower , get dry and come back here."

I stood in the hot shower, thinking of what had happened, feeling the water on my body, wanting to stay there forever, yet wanting to be back with him. I wrapped a big towel around myself for comfort and returned to my knees.

"On the bed slave, and remember no talking"

Taking the towel off I climbed into bed.

"I have sent you something slave , I want you to open it now and thin about what I have sent you"
I opened the email and there were the pictures he had taken.

"Remember my slave , you are many things in life, many thing to many people. To me also you are many thing, but first and foremost..............you are my slave. Don't ever forget that"

Another email arrived and this one contained a video of me struggling not to cum, my plugged arse facing the camera, as I ram the big vibrator over and over again into my cunt.

And I started to cry..................big sobs, more snot,

and when I had calmed down a little he asked me what I felt
I reached for the peg and put it on my tongue and told him
""relief Sir"
"You see slave I know what you need, I know what is best for you, all I do I do with your best interests at heart"
He told me to remove the peg, I wasn't not to speak again. In fact I was not to speak to him again until he told me I could. And that when I am alone I am to wear a peg closing my lips and when I am with him I will wear it too................time to think before I open my mouth , and if I want to speak I must put my hand up like a child........and he will decide if I may speak................but for the next two days he will be away and I will not get to talk with him at all, no calls, no text, no IM, no nothing.

I will be allowed to talk with him, but it will be limited when he comes back, so I will have to think more carefully about the words I use and what I say. Speaking like anything else in not a right, it is a gift from him

So now I am alone, with the peg on my lips, closed together, silenced and I am full of words I want to say to him, but until Monday night there will be nothing.

I am his slave. I am his


  1. Dear HS,

    Sending hugs,


    PS All the blogspot bloggers lost their access for a couple of days and they're saying the missing comments should come back...

  2. wow hs

    that was powerful and sad to read at the same time.

    blossom xx

  3. aisha, thanks for the hugs. Interesting to know it just wasn't the internet her in "far away"

  4. blossom, Thanks for the comment. I am interested to know why you think it is sad. I am fine...frustrated, but fine.:)

  5. hi hs

    i was sad to see that He used the hood on you and i know that is something that you do not like, and the remark made was unintentional.

    blossom xx

  6. hi blossom, thanks for your reply, i was just curious...not upset:) you are kind to remember I dont like it .hugs

  7. Hang in there little girl!

    It is almost Monday night...

    Love & hugs,

  8. yes cassie it is:)...thanks for the thoughts xxxx