This is control.
This is how he makes me think about things, about how I talk, how I respond, how I think.
This morning, for a few reasons I felt far away from home, very far. Far from friends and he knew why because in the spirit of being open ( haha in the spirit...under instruction on pain of all sorts of wickedly ownerish torture and abuse) I had told him and he knew.
He was kind and loving and asked me if I wanted to talk about it, and I declined his offer, which he accepted.............. and said I was fine.
He knew I wasn't, I knew I wasn't, but we left it at that....................
But now he has removed two words from my vocabulary..well phrases......"I'm fine" and "I'm ok"........also the use of the word "no" is to be banned completely, never to be uttered again.......so for the time being.................
I'm fine.
I'm ok.
No no no no no no
Yeah, "I'm fine" and "I'm ok" can hide a bunch of truth...
ReplyDeleteBut I can't imagine giving up "no" for real. Wow. What a challenge!
aisha
so ... not even "no thank you I don't want any cake" or "no I haven't made dinner yet"?
ReplyDeletelol...apparently that is the plan......not sure its possible somehow..........personally I think he is being a little ambitious, but what do I know(does that one count too?)... and as for cake...but it is only a plan at the moment, maybe just a threat!
ReplyDeleteHS
i can identify with the i'm fine..it's a sure give away we are not fine! Master tells me i may use to work no.....just not when i am talking to Him.
ReplyDeleteabby