More questions than answers

Today he is busy....today I have to put myself to bed...............tonight I will go to sleep without him being there to say goodnight to me.

Some times this has made me feel so very sad and alone, even knowing that I am not alone, I am his so how can I be alone..............but now?

I am not sure...do I feel alone?

 Do I feel deep within my heart and soul I am his? I am not sure.  and that frightens me more than if I knew for certain one way or the other.

He tells me I am his, he tells me I have no choice but to be his, as he has said that is how it is.
But.........does what is inside me, that doubt, that uncertainty count................and
I want to talk about it, but he will not...............

And so once again I am in waiting mode.

He has talked about when I will be home again, about how busy he is, and how little time we will have and yet he does not see that that is the very heart of the problem....................

This month is apparently Q and A month......but it feels like I have more than enough Q and A of my own that are unanswerable.
But please feel free to ask any questions.......I may be able to answer yours...coz I sure as  hell can't answer my own.................but then maybe I shouldn't even be trying too.