A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Thursday, 23 June 2011

Ouch....this time it hurt

Well this time he was here when he said he would be, this time he stayed, this time he didn't get called away.

This time it hurt.

He thinks that he has let me down by taking his eye of the ball, by giving me some space,  and now feels that he needs to slowly reel me in until I am where I should be by the time I go home...and now it has started.

He had me strip and kneel before him wearing my rope and a peg on each nipple, he had me wait.
 The unit went on the pads right at the top of my thighs, straight onto number two, with the treat that if I hesitated for a moment following an instruction it would go up by a notch each time. Two is bearable, its ok, not nice but bearable. next was the vibe into my cunt and then the TENS up to three.

And then the hood went on, oh how I hate that hood. I hate the isolation, I hate not being able to see him. And he asked em the questions he often uses, the questions I am sure lots of us are asked....

What are you?
Who do you belong to?
What are your rights?
What can I do to you?
What are you?

He told me that I am nothing,not a person, not a slave, when the hood is on , I am just a thing , a toy for him to use.
And my head begins to play tricks on me, I travel to that place where i begin to feel different, submissive, where I loose any will of my own, and his will takes over.

The hood came off and I had to light the candle. I had been allowed to kneel on a cushion, but this was replaced by a sheet of newspaper, and then I had to slowly dip the wax down my breast and onto my nipples, one at a time. The hot wax setting onto my nipple, heating up the bar he put in there, making it hot on the outside and on the inside. And my body slowly became nothing more than pleasure and pain.

The pegs and wax... pain
The unit... pain
The vibe... pleasure

He told me to get the bowl and it wasn't there.

The hood went back on.

The unit went up to four....and I cried.

More pegs on my tits, pinching, hurting...pain.

He made me cum and the pegs hurt more.
he asked the questions again and between the tears I answered him.

"Lie on the floor, toy".

I didn't want more Unit pain, I couldn't do it, I moved as fast as I could and lay down on the floor, the pegs digging into me, pushing, hurting, more pain.

And I tried hard. I tried hard to be calm, to breathe, the get around the pain, to use it .

It hurt.

Up toy and cum for me".

And the blood rushing to places just made it hurt more, and I came for him crying in pain, but crying out for him.

"Hood off"        "It's over slave, its over"

He told me to take of the pegs in my own time, any order, to turn the unit off. I tried to take of the nipple pegs , but the wax was set had, i opened the peg but couldn't get it off. I began to panic.


Although I was looking, its difficult to see sometimes, but his voice calmed me, his words calming, making me listen to him, reality.

And it was over, it was finished. When I had removed everything, he sent me to the bathroom to wash my face etc

 And I climbed into bed, and wrapped my blanket around me, and closed my eyes and slept for a while. When I woke, he was there, ready to talk to me, and he watched me as I fell asleep for the night. I woke in the night and he was still there, talking to me, telling me he loved me, he was proud of me.

This morning when I woke, he was still there, and he wished me "Happy Anniversary", and then nothing hurt.


  1. Dear HS,

    I hold my breath when I read these; I don't know why, I just do.

    I'm so glad when I get to the end and you're ok



  2. wow. Now that was really intense. Hugs, xx

  3. as sub-kitten said, that was really intense which make me worried while reading, but it's good to hear he was proud of you at the end and always there for you when you woke up. Wish you all the best, hugs.

    ps. just want to let you know that Master like your blog too :) What excited him most is about the control - being able to observe most of the time...it's not possible to happen now cos i'm living with family but this might be the direction we are going for in future. i'm so glad to have found your blog, thanks HS. :)

  4. aisha, if its any consolation, I hold my breath too and have to make myself breathe:). I know sometimes it sounds like it id hard , but its never that hard , because I know he loves me.

  5. sub-kitten....life is like that sometimes, and then at other times we spend an hour talking about the washing machine!

  6. Mistress160...thank you....you made me smile, I think I may have blushed too!

  7. sl,
    Thank you for your kind comments. I am glad your Master likes it too. Its ALL about the control, really the pain is just a tool.
    And I love it when he is there...but I did tell him the other day it is nice when he is away too!