A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

She was nothing

The slave sat waiting quietly in the room. He had told her that she was to wait quietly and to be still, but being still was difficult, she never seemed to be able to remain still, but she knew she would try.
She sat on the floor where he had told her she must, and thought about what was going to happen. She tried hard not to imagine things, to try to guess what was happening, but things went through her mind without her seeming to have any control over.
She was all alone in an almost empty room, the curtains were closed and all she had was her phone, she wasn’t allowed to touch it, and she began to wonder if he would ever come. There was nothing in the room to look at except the phone and the small wooden box that she could see underneath the window.
The vibration from the phone made her jump. She looked down at it and saw that it was him, but she didn’t know what to do, he had said not to touch it, so how could she answer it? She listened to it ringing and began to think maybe she should answer it, and just as she went to pick it up…it stopped.
The silence was loud, and she felt confused and unsure. The phone rang again; she saw the message come on the screen,”Pick me up”. She smiled and picked up the phone and read the rest of the message.
“Strip slave and kneel”.
She stripped and folded her clothes and left them in a small pile behind her and knelt on the floor, resting back on her heels.
She heard a sound outside the window and wondered if was him, she strained her ears to see if she could work out where he was, if he was coming into the room. The room seemed to be coming in towards her, and it seemed to be getting darker outside, she wasn’t frightened of the dark, but was a little unsettled that she was here naked, in the semi darkness waiting, not sure where he was.
The time seemed to slow down as she waited and then once again there was message for her.
“Crawl to the wooden box and get out the three bags and put them in front of you and continue kneeling. When the phone rings the first time open the red bag, the second the blue bag and the third the yellow bag.”
She crawled to the box and opened the lid, the curtain was not completely closed and she could see the light fading outside and she wanted to see him.
She crawled back to her place in the middle of the room and put the bags in front of her and knelt once more. She wondered what was in the bags, but knew there was no point trying to guess. He was always surprising her, making her think, keeping her off balance.
The phone rang and she leant forward and picked up the red bag and felt it. It wasn’t full, in fact it seemed to have nothing in it. She opened it, and put her hand inside. She could feel a piece of paper inside and something small, she wrapped her fingers around them and pulled it out. There in her hand were two small items, she turned them over in her hand and realised that they were ear plugs. She unfolded the piece of paper and read the instruction.
“Put the ear plugs in, and then place the phone in front of you so you can see when I text you”
She folded the paper and returned it to the bag, put the ear plugs in and moved the phone, and sat focusing on it, waiting for it to ring. She watched the minutes change, thinking it would not be long, but it was 24 minutes before it lit up. She picked it up and read the text.
“Get the next bag, and follow the instruction”.
Once more she picked up a bag and opened it. Inside were another bag and a note.
“Open the inner bag and put the contents on the floor and kneel on them, and wait for the next text”

 Her heart sank as she opened the bag, it was full of rice, and she knew it would hurt. She poured it onto the floor and moved herself onto it. She folded the bag and returned it to its place. This time she was hoping it wouldn’t be so long, the pin began to seep up through her knees, it began to fill her thoughts, to be everything that she was. She could no longer hear she was focused on the phone and the pain, nothing else. These 10 minutes were the longest.
Finally the phone went and she picked it up.“Get the yellow bag”
She leant forward and opened the bag, inside was another bag, and a rope that had been tied ready so her wrists would slip into it, and on the other end was a noose. The bag was black and thick and smelt of him. She did not want to put it on, but she knew she would. She slipped the noose over her head, and let it hand down her back, then she picked up the bag and pulled it over her head, and immediately she felt isolated, cut off alone. She put her hands behind her back and slipped them into the knot. She felt the noose tighten on her neck, but not too tight and she knelt back.
And she was alone, she could hear nothing, she could see nothing and she had no idea what was happening to her.
 She knelt and she waited, she became nothing.
He opened the door and she didn’t hear him
 He looked at her and she saw nothing.
He saw his slave, kneeling waiting for him, isolated. Until he did something, she was nothing, she would be nothing, have nothing.
He moved slowly towards her, not moving the air, giving no clues to his presence.
He reached carefully forward and wrapped his hand around the rope and yanked it upwards towards him. She gasped as she felt the rope tightened around her hands, pulling her arms backwards. And with his other hand wrapped in her hair he pulled her to her feet.


  1. I love the whole idea of messages in the bags! Another compelling story - hopefully there's a second part to this? thank you! All the best x

  2. Yes, is there a part 2? i'd love to hear it!