I am waiting to hear from him about what happened at the hospital today, my heart is in my mouth as to what they will say, and about what the future holds.
In the mean time, to take his mind off it things he has decided to play with his new Tens unit he sent home with me.
He had me attach it to the top of my thighs, right next to, but not touching my cunt, and he began to ratchet up the power, until I was twitching away. It seemed that one of the pads was right on a nerve, and so it hurt like hell.
He had me stroke my clit, very very slowly and gently, just one finger, rubbing gently on my clit and then as he turned the pain levels up, he instructed me to slide one finger inside my cunt and show him how wet I was, and then to continue playing. The cam was on my face and I could see him looking intently at me.
He told me I was to tell him just before I wanted to come and I could feel it building fast, deep inside me , and as I told him he told me to turn the unit to full.....................and as I came my body was filled with pain and pleasure, and I rode them both like some bizarre roller coaster........waves of pain and pleasure filling me until finally the pleasure subsided and all I was filled with was the pain...........
It filled my body and filled my head, leaving no room for any thought, any doubts anything other than the all encompassing pain.
I didn't hear him at first tell me to turn it off, and he had to raise his voice for me to hear him, and when I turned it off, I felt this great void inside me.....empty,,,,,,,,,,desolate...........and then I heard his voice talking to me about control, and who has it, and how he can exercise his control, what he can do to me, what he can make me do, and how I need that control, how even if it is the pain, I need the control, and how I need him and it was like some kind of hypnotic response to him, I found myself agreeing.
When I had regained my composure and cleaned myself up; he had me just sleep in my normal rope, not bound , and, for the first time since I left him I slept all night........with no dreams at all, no waking and I woke up feeling lighter in my heart.
So maybe there is, somewhere a light at the end of the tunnel and if I keep reaching out in the darkness I will find it......or maybe it is in his hand and he will pass it to me.