A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Saturday, 9 April 2011

So much for thinking I had a choice

Last night was one of those nights when I just could not sleep. he tells me to ring him or text him if I wake up and want to talk to him, if I have had a bad dream and need him or for whatever reason. So I rang the first time, text the second time, IMed the third time and we chatted for a bit. The fourth fifth and sixth time I didn't bother.....just one of those nights.

This morning he was chatting to me about, of all things, hot air balloons. I am not quite sure why or how we got onto this topic, but we did. And his mind turned to rope!

He talked for a bit about how he is getting things back to how they were before, before I went home to see him, before things all collapsed in a messy heaps of tears, wet tissues and confusion.
He told me, well asked me, if I had noticed that slowly he was taking back control, that the rules were being reinforced, that his expectations were increasing, that his acceptance of any forgetfulness or avoidance was waning fast?

Had I noticed ...of course I had noticed.

A couple of times in the last week, I have noticed a different tone in his voice, a different look in his eye.
So this morning when he asked me, when he made me choose, which I hate to do....

"Do you want to be used this morning or this evening?"

I answered quickly...."This morning". Not because I particularly wanted to, but then it was over, done with and I wouldn't have to think about it all day, about what would be coming.

"Hang on " he said "If I use you this morning it wont last as long, but it will hurt more. If I use you this evening it will last longer, but will be more fun".

A difficult choice........but I still said "This morning please Sir".

So he had me get out all the toys and lay them out, to pick up each one and describe it in detail to him and to give an example of how he has used it on me before.

I then had to put the vibrator inside my cunt and turn it on full, and kneel in front of him.

There was a bout five minutes silence and then he said
 "Actually....... I think I will use you tonight.......but you can cum anyway now for me".

And so I came  there, on the floor, surrounded by all the toys. the toys of pain, pleasure and mass humiliation.

He sent me on the ways for the day, telling me he had a paper to finish for work, and that seeing me there was distracting him, and that I would see him tonight.

So much for choice...........all day my head has been filled with thoughts of him and his plans...


  1. I Love that thinga are work out for you HS, I really enjoy following your blog. As of late when I load the blog up it seems to be freezing up and takes a good 10 minutes to load. Is this a problem on my end or have othes said the same thing? I want to keep following and hopefully get the problem fixed, thanks :)

  2. It worked fine here. Just a data point for you.

  3. Had to laugh Hs sorry when your Master changed his mind!!!!!

    littleone i have been having the same probs, takes a while for Hs blog to load up and to scroll up and down to comment.

    blossom xx

  4. Yeah Blossom that is my issue too.. Once it gets half way down the page its fine but at first its slow and freezes when you try to move the page down... Strange... Glad I am not the only one. I enjoy the blog very much so I put up with it :)

  5. submissivelittleone and blossom...I have changed the settings to make it as simple as possible, hope that helps, I don't know why you have that problem, please let me know if it continues. and slo.....thank you. and you too blossom,