A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Saturday 19 March 2011

Feeling trapped

This morning we talked and then he made me cum for him........the other day he did the same in the shower.....and I cried...this morning I was lying on the bed and he wanted the camera on my face, and he told me to play; to gently stroke myself, to get myself to the point just before I cum, which I did, and the whole time I knew he was watching my face, and as I came.........I cried..well I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed....................and I couldn't explain to him what the reason was, I don't know.

He now feels that every time he wants me to do something to please him it makes me cry, that it is making me sad...its not......but it does make me cry................I am confused and wishing things were different.

Every time he talks to me, he tell me he is not going anywhere, that I am his slave.....and he thinks this reassures me......................it doesn't .......it feels oppressive.........I feel trapped......but I don't know how to tell him.

I should feel loved and cared for, controlled and valued.........and I don't.

4 comments:

  1. Sorry you feel like that. Can't you tell him it feels oppressive?

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  2. HUGS...and more Hugs...i wish things were better for you...abby

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  3. More hugs from here... I know you'll figure out what you need to do.

    aisha

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  4. Malcolm....I have tried, really tried, but he reminds me that it is not my choice and that he is the owner and I am the slave. It is hard work not being bratty and throwing a great big stop to try to get him to "listen". I have asked him to talk openly about it, and he has allowed me...I just don't think he hears what I am saying.
    Or maybe he does and has decided this is what is best. Thanks for your comment.

    Abby and aisha... thank you for the hugs, always help and always make me smile.
    HSxx

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