A blog from a woman on a journey of discovery.

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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Fuckmeat and emotive words

The word "fuck" is such an emotive word, or can be. It is the sort of word that gets used so often that sometimes the meaning changes so often it is hard to keep up.

How many times I have I said "Oh fuck" when something has gone wrong? lots...hundreds...not many in his hearing because it is not allowed, but occasionally they spill out and I am given a short and often sharp reminder about manners.

Then there is the "Oh fuck it'...when you have tried to do something, really tried and for what ever reason it is just not achievable and the Ohfuckt(one word) comes out as you give up and walk away, or the more  resigned than exasperated "oh..... fuck it" as you give into something, usually something that cannot be addressed, cannot be changed and so it precedes an acceptance of some sort.

Then there is the explosive stub your toe "FUCK"  that needs no other clarification other than that we all say it, it may not be the F word, but we all have a word for those moments in life.

Some people use Fuuuuuckinghell/shit /insert own expletive" as a cry of disbelief at something they have seen or heard.
And so the list can continue...almost endlessly..................but for me its when he joins the "fuck" word with  the "meat" word and calls me "fuckmeat" , that what affects me the most. These are two of my least favouite words when put together, they make me cringe inside , they make me feel debased and fill me with a sense of humiliation and  indicate a change of purpose.

 When he calls me fuckmeat, it is often in the third person, he talks about me as a thing, an entity to be used for his pleasure, I become nothing other than that.The phraseologyd he uses continues to become more an more objectifying ."There is the fuck meat....the fuck meat will be used and abused" and so it continues.

When I am with him, and I am fuckmeat, he is rough; grabbing and pulling, twisting, probing, examining, pulling me apart, opening my cunt, pegging it open and tying it open to my legs, my arms and legs stretched wide open as he continues his painful exploration of what is his, or he drags me around degrading me, tying me up .........legs and arms twisted around each other and leaving me in the corner to wait for his use.........................

And when he has finished with his physical "abuse" of his fuckmeat, he starts on the verbal humiliation. He often never even calls me fuck meat directly.........but by the time he has finished that is what I want, I want to be called it more than anything............. because it is better than being referred to as "it" or "meat" or "fuckmeat". And then the fucking begin.

By now I am usually spaced out, filled with humiliation and ready to do anything to stop the feeling and for him to see me as he usually does, but knowing it will not stop until he has finished , until it has served its purpose, either for him or for me...............but before that happens I am fucked...........my face is fucked hard till my jaw aches and my hair hurts from the pulling and twisting, or the back of my head where I am places against the wall as he rams his cock into my mouth, filling my throat.

My cunt is fucked as he drives himself into me with an insatiable desire as he twists and slaps me, pinching my nipples, pulling them, holding my tits by the nipple and slapping them......he fucks me as my arse is filled with whatever he deems is right to fill it with and then he fucks my arse.......once more driving into me............holding onto my hips and fucking his meat............

 And he questions me as he fucks me about what I am , what I have become for him, what I will do for him and why...................

 And I am filled with humiliation as I tell him "I am meat Sir, I am fuckmeat, to be used Sir,"

'I am fuck meat"

I am fuck meat"

And as he drives into me over and over again I repeat these words until his cums fills me...........and when he is spent I am left ......exposed  and the probing starts again as he examines the damage to his property and he watches me as the effects of his word and actions catch up with me, and he waits to see the impact it has had, and he calls me to him, gentle words ..."come to my my little piece of fuck meat, come to me........" and I crawl to him and hold on tight as he comforts me.

And I hate what I have become, the feelings inside me............. but it is what he wants and as he tell me I am a good girl and he is happy I hold on tighter and smile a\up at him..............and he wipes away the tears.

Oh fuck!

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