I'm sick of moaning.....I'm sick of writing about how confused I am, I'm tired of trying to work things out in my head......and so I am going to stop.
I'm going to stop moaning.
I going to stop winding myself up tighter and tighter till I feel like I will explode.
I'm going to stop thinking about things and just ......... and well................. I'm just going to stop.
Maybe this was his plan (oops there I go again...no more thinking!)
So instead I decided to think about the ten things that make me the happiest today, not any day in the past, not looking forward to an unknown future...but right now...so here they are.
1. The children make me happy. I have been given two beautiful children who are healthy, happy,loving, intelligent independent individuals that I love very much.
2. I managed to watch a beautiful, if fast, tropical sunset tonight. The firey orange sun setting behind rising storm clouds, filling the sky with a warm glow and edging the clouds with gold.
3.I have had a good day at work, actually it was a great day...... a long twelve hour day.......I'm tired....................... but I am good at my job, I get great satisfaction from knowing I do it well and I enjoy it.
4.I have some of my favourite food in my fridge.......asparagus, lemons, green beans and a crisp lettuce that I grew in a little patch of soil .
5. I have lovely friends here and at home, whom I love and care about and I know they love and care about me.
6.I have a chilled glass, well freezing cold, glass of red wine on the floor next to me....and it has my name on it.
7.I have 'met' some lovely people here in blog land, who understand what I am talking about, can empathise with how I feel and care enough to make a comment to let me know they are there...thank you.
8. I have a small black cat fighting for lap space with my laptop, and it is often hanging around waiting for me to come home from work...and always looks pleased to see me. It may be cupboard love...but I convince myself otherwise:)
9. There is a beach just five minutes away from where I am...a long golden sandy beach where I can walk with my feet in warm sand and have warm water lap across my feet. Where i can sit on the beach, and be all alone and contemplate life, the universe and everything.
10. In my cupboard I have a packet of mint creams......................mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Oh that did me good......................I know "he" is missing from the list.........this list is not about him, its about all the other things,,,,right at this very minute.